We Weekly Chat: It’s Been Too Long

by Marinka on June 18, 2011

and yet somehow, not long enough.

But never mind that now, let’s take a look at this week’s US Weekly!

Well, it's certainly easy to see how these rumo(u)rs get started. Two different pictures set next to each other.

Important news:

Emma Watson can’t get a date. Whenever I hear about that a gorgeous kazillionairess can’t get a date I always assume tht the sentence ends with “with Barack Obama.”

Because, Emma, please call me. I’ll set you up.

25 Things You Don’t Know About Me! Featuring Jason Priestley. Unfortunately none of the 25 things are “what the hell did he do after 90210?”

Kendra Wilkinson turns 26! (I have no idea who she is. I am ashamed).

Fume! There’s a picture of A-Rod and Cam-D (Cameron Diaz) together. Is it really possible that they didn’t break up?

Although my dislike of Cameron Diaz is nowhere near my dislike of Jane *spit* Seymour *spit*, I still dislike her mightily.
For no special reason.
Except she seems very annoying.

Like here:

Cameron-Diaz-Elle

25 stars who are fluent in foreign languages—biggest surprises for me include Johnny Depp in Italian, Salma Hayek (Arabic) and Montel Williams (Russian). Side note: US plays fast and loose with the definition of “stars”.

Stars—They’re Just Like US! Jane Fonda gets a pedicure and, waitforit! Waits for her toes to dry! Renee Zellweger goes for a late-afternoon run! I’m a little alarmed because no one is feeding the parking meter this week.

And yes, there is an obligatory photo of a pregnant Kate Hudson. No issue of US Weekly would be complete without it.

Sheryl Crow has a new boyfriend, someone who I’ve never heard of, and he gets along great with her kids. I thought she only had one!

Vanessa Minnillo had a shower. Oh, a bridal shower. She and Nick Lachey seem very photogenic, which I assume translates into happiness. Of course the best thing about this is that I’m sure that Jessica Simpson is very upset .

One of the features that I thoroughly enjoy although feel weird about is the side column, VIP scene. Which mentions random celebrity sightings. For example, did you know that Sylvester Stallone and Robert DeNiro bumped into each other on Fifth Avenue? Useless information? You betcha! But really good to know. We also learned that Megan Fox used chopsticks during her dinner with her husband Brian Austin Green at Japanese restaurant. Which leads to the obvious question of why wasn’t he using chopsticks?! And can a marriage like that survive? (Also, I don’t see Meghan Fox’s appeal. If you want a pouty brunette, spring a few more million for Angelina.)

Now on to our cover story!

Pippa is single! Which isn’t shocking because she’s never been married!

But we now have a torn photo of her with boyfriend, which means that they’ve over.
Which is the perfect time to put Pippa on the cover with Harry and insinuate that there’s something romantical going on there.
Except there isn’t. She laughs at his jokes and they care about each other like in-laws. Because they are in-laws.

Jennifer Aniston may or may not have a new man. Honestly, I refuse to even learn his name until I know that this one is going to last more than a few issues.

Finally, for reasons that I can’t explain, US offers us the recipe for Rocco DeSpirito’s Red Beet, Goat Cheese & Walnut Salad. Can you guess what some of the ingredients are?

That’s all for this week! Can we make it until next week?!

One year ago ...

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
June 18, 2011 at 9:04 pm

That Cameron Diaz cover photo is disturbing but I can’t figure out why.

Reply

Alison@Mama Wants This
Twitter:
June 19, 2011 at 1:26 am

I think it’s because her thighs are almost the same size as her arms, and we all know that’s anatomically impossible.

Reply

Zina June 19, 2011 at 1:15 am

Mamabird, is it because her body looks like a flesh-colored frog’s body that it’s disturbing?

Reply

Alison@Mama Wants This
Twitter:
June 19, 2011 at 1:26 am

I don’t know who Kendra Wilkinson is either!

Reply

Roxanne June 20, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Ignore that I know this, but she’s one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends from Girls Next Door.

And I’m sad that she’s younger than me…

Reply

Sophie@Fabrications June 19, 2011 at 1:40 am

It’s all in the sauce, babe.

Reply

Becky
Twitter:
June 19, 2011 at 9:01 am

Hasn’t Kate Hudson been pregnant for about 5 years now….or does it just seem that long? I plan to boycott the special double issue when she finally gives birth.

Reply

b a seagull
Twitter:
June 19, 2011 at 10:35 am

Camdam is just missing an arrow on the crotch. not subtle.

Reply

anna see June 19, 2011 at 11:22 pm

that pic of Cameron scares me mightily.

Reply

Lady Jennie June 20, 2011 at 5:24 am

HA! What a laugh.

Reply

From Belgium June 20, 2011 at 7:22 am

CamD is a tribute to the art of photoshop. That woman has more wrinkels and sun damage than my 65 year old mother (again mom- sorry that I disclose you age on the internet, but I did it in a good way)

Reply

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