White Jeans

by Marinka on February 27, 2012

At the store, she hands me two pairs of jeans—the first pair blinds me. It is so white.
“Really?” I ask. “White?”

She doesn’t say anything, but I can hear her thinking.

“Yes, white. Do you not see that they are white? Why are you asking me white? Because you’re a thousand years old, maybe?”
“Are white jeans a good idea?” I press on, knowing how I sound. White jeans are never a good idea, but she’s young and beautiful and white jeans look fantastic and that’s the point. It’s like I’ve never been young in my whole life. Really.
“Yes,” she says, with remarkable restraint.

And I know that I should drop it, but I can’t.

“You know as soon as you eat spaghetti and meatballs, the jeans will be stained.”
“Or if you sit on some dirt.”

“Or you could spill juice on your lap.”

She ignores me for the most part. She packs the white jeans on her  weeklong class trip to New Orleans.

“Don’t wear them when you eat jambalaya!” I tell her. “Or gumbo.”
“Fine,” she says. Fine is teenager for fuck off, in case you’re wondering.

I say good bye and she and the white jeans head to the Big Easy for a week. And although I miss my daughter, I don’t worry about the white jeans. They’re just jeans. White jeans. Sometimes you have to let go a bit.
And then when she comes back, reluctant hugs and all, she smiles a little and says.

“So, the white jeans.”

“Yes?”

“Well, they got a little dirty.”

“Oh?”

“We toured a swamp and-“

Did I have the restraint not to say “OMG, DID YOU WEAR A WHITE PAIR OF JEANS TO THE SWAMP? DID YOU NOT THINK THAT A SWAMP COULD BE SWAMPY? DEAR LORD!”

If you said yes, you must be new here.

Welcome. My name is Marinka and I have two lovely kids. My son is 10 and loves baseball. My daughter is 13 and wears white jeans to the swamp.

One year ago ...

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Loukia February 27, 2012 at 1:03 am

Here’s the thing: every girl who owns white jeans has an awesome “how they got dirty” story. Seriously. Also, once, when I went white water rafting, I wore my favorite bathing suit, shorts, and running shoes. I had my hair straight. And I took one look at the boat, and asked my instructor: “We’re not actually going do get WET are we?” Yoir daughter wearing her white jeans to the swamp reminded me of younger-many-moons-ago me.

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Snow Wife February 27, 2012 at 3:58 am

I agree with Loukia…I remember I had a white bathing suit and fast forward to a dip in the ocean and WHAM you could see thru it at the age of 16 in a bikini. Again I was 20 something in cute white jeans at a club and jumped up and sat on a speaker and gum stuck to my ass – bye white jeans.

While I had them, they were fun just like some past boyfriends HA

There will be more clothes this happens too – trust me

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Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes February 27, 2012 at 7:31 am

This may a first, but it will not be a last.

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Mo February 27, 2012 at 7:44 am

On a similar note, I’d advise against wearing ‘summer trousers’ to the urinal.

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imperfectmomma
Twitter:
February 27, 2012 at 8:55 am

hmmm…..maybe she thought they were stain resistant? Or indestruc..tible..table…did she think those pants used to belong to Superwoman?

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Hope February 27, 2012 at 9:29 am

I keep waiting for my life to be appropriate for white jeans. You know, when there’s no dog, no red sauce, no chocolate, no dust, no nothing. I have a friend who wears white jeans. In Manhattan. Where just going outside causes you to become covered in a film of black grit. And she always looks clean.

She is rich.

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EmmaK February 27, 2012 at 10:00 am

Could be worse. I believe I once wore white jeans as a teen and got my period in them. I certainly never lived that one down!

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magpie February 27, 2012 at 11:38 am

I once spilled a lot of ketchup on a white skirt.

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joeinvegas February 27, 2012 at 11:40 am

Mom’s there to clean them, what’s the problem?

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Megan February 27, 2012 at 11:51 am

At least she looked cute right up until the jeans got dirty.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
February 27, 2012 at 11:59 am

i love my white jeans. I would totally wear them to a swamp.

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Kasey February 27, 2012 at 12:04 pm

My swamp tour was remarkably dirt free. That said, I wore a skirt, so I understand the white jeans – didn’t really think that through.

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Carinn @ welcometothemotherhood
Twitter:
February 27, 2012 at 12:54 pm

I bought a pair of amazing white jeans in 2005 and I am still waiting for the right place to wear them. Clearly I don’t visit enough swamps!

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Becky Rice
Twitter:
February 27, 2012 at 1:48 pm

At least she didn’t have beads stuffed in the pockets of her awesome white jeans.

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dusty earth mother February 27, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I’m dying to know what went through her mind when she was picking her outfit for the Swamp Visit.

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Mary February 27, 2012 at 2:25 pm

How is it that my 10 year old daughter can wear the same dirty jeans for three days in a row but when I accidentally wash and dry her clothes with a kleenex left in the pocket and everything has lint on it, she completely freaks out? But it’s true white jeans are for the young, only!!! Love your blog.

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Meredith L.
Twitter:
February 27, 2012 at 2:28 pm

When I was 13 years old I wore white jeans – stretchy, skin-tight, expensive Edwin brand white jeans – upon the arrival of my first period.

No one ever said 13-year old girls are the wisest of creatures.

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Peajaye
Twitter:
February 27, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I’m shocked. And saddened. Wearing white before Memorial Day. Really, Marinka, are you teaching that girl nothing?

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Kara
Twitter:
February 27, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Damn, Marinka! You can write the shit out of a simple story. Brilliant!

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alaina
Twitter:
February 27, 2012 at 8:48 pm

The best way to learn not to wear white jeans to a swamp is to wear white jeans to a swamp.

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MommyTime
Twitter:
February 27, 2012 at 9:56 pm

But all the alligators said she was the most fashionable teenager there. So there is that.

Also? It’s not like being 30 with a new baby is a good time to wear white jeans. So she might as well wear them now. 😉

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Danielle February 28, 2012 at 12:53 am

This is so funny.
I tried to convince my 26 year old friend not to buy white jeans last week. Her jeans didn’t survive their first weekend out.
Nuff said.

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kalisa
Twitter:
February 28, 2012 at 8:18 pm

There are a lot of places I would wear white jeans. None of them are anywhere near the vacinity of NOLA.

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