Young Ladrinka is 9!

by Marinka on June 28, 2010

There’s a lot that I could tell you about my son, MY BABY! turning 9.  I could tell you how I had a hard time getting pregnant with him, how 9/11 was with a not-quite 3 month old, how being a mother the second time around changed me, or how my child turning 9 is profound for me because I was 9 when my family left the Soviet Union, so my memories of being 9 are quite sharp.

I could also tell you about the party that we had for my son a week or so before his birthday, on the last day of school, when I took all the boys from his class to see The Karate Kid and how shocked I was when after the movie they all started to re-enact their favorite kicking scenes, as opposed to discussing how “Kung Fu is life” and the importance of inner peace, and how despite a birthday party that lasted over five hours and included a  movie and pizza and ice cream followed by playing baseball, my son’s favorite moment was when Husbandrinka told one of his friends that he was acting like an IDIOT.

Because there is nothing funnier than an adult telling a kid that he’s an  idiot.  Precious memories, people.  You should be taking notes.

But I’m not going to go into any of that, because I want to talk about something that’s really important.

The birthday cake.

For Young Ladrinka’s birthday, I decided to go to my local Baskin Robbins and order an ice cream cake.  Now, for the past five years, I’ve gotten him a Carvel ice cream cake, but I have to order that at a supermarket and for four years I asked them to write Happy Birthday Victor! and it always came back Happy Birthday “Victor”! Like Victor wasn’t his real name and we just agreed to call him that for convenience.

The first year, I was like, okay, anyone can make a mistake, the second year, I was like “huh, lightning really can strike twice!”  The third year, I was “I wonder if they’ll—YES! YES, THEY DID!!” The fourth year I was “No, they can’t possibly–” And the fifth year I asked them, when I ordered it, to please not put quotes around the name.  The woman looked at me like I was crazy–either for not wanting the quotes or for assuming that she’s put them on in the first place.  I got the cake that I wanted, but I was emotionally exhausted by the experience, five years in the making.

So last Sunday, one day before Young Ladrinka’s birthday, I went to my local Baskin Robbins.

Now, I don’t know about the Baskin Robbins where you are, but the ones in NYC seem to have merged with Dunkin’ Donuts in some kind of a corporate takeover against America’s health.  Which means that any time that you go into the store, there is a huge line of hungrys waiting.

Like last Sunday.

Because I was ordering a cake, as opposed to getting an America Runs on Dunkin’ coffee, I went to the head of the line and announced my intentions.

No one was impressed.

“You have to wait in line,” the guy in charge told me.

I waited in line.  And then it was my turn.

“I’d still like to order a cake!” I announced.

He looked at me.

“A cake?” he asked, as though I asked for 99 virgins to go, please, and throw in some blondes this time, if you don’t mind.

“Yes,” I confirmed, feeling confident in my order.

“Hold on,” he said.  And went to consult with another vice-president of Dunkin.

After a few minutes, during which the donut dispensing was suspended to everyone in the store, and I was sure that the world would stop spinning on its axis, they both approached me.

“The manager is not here to take your order. Can you come back in the morning?” They told me.

I began to panic.

“In the morning? Can’t you take the order now? How early in the morning? I have things to do! It’s  my son’s birthday. God, it’s hot outside.”

“The manager will be here early.  At 6:30,” they told me.

“Okay. I’ll be here at 7, will she be here?”

“Probably.”

* * *

The next morning, I reported to Baskin Robbins and after the mandatory donut line wait, ordered a cake.

I scribbled Happy Birthday Victor on a piece of paper and wanting to be helpful, added “vanilla and chocolate ice cream”.

“We can’t fit all this on the cake,” the manager told me.

I reassured her that I did not need the ice cream flavors inscribed on the cake, made arrangements to pick it up at 5, and was merrily on my way!

At 5 pm, I reported back to pick up the cake.  By 5:30, I was at the head of the line.  “I’m here for the cake!” I announced, proudly presenting my receipt.

The manager was long gone, and I was with my Sunday guy again.

“Wait here!” he said and reached for his iPhone.  Then he spoke in a foreign language, fast, sneaking peeks at me.  Having firmed up his plans for Jihad, he ended the call.

“Here is your cake!” he told me.  I looked at it. It was indeed, my cake,  but it did not have an inscription.  Which is the whole point of a birthday cake.

“You want writing on it?” he asked.  I nodded, too weak to talk.

After a few more phone calls, he got to work.

Bithdays are so special!

A better mother would have protested.  A better mother would have insisted that her baby’s birthday cake have proper spelling.  That mother is obviously not a blogger, because all I could think was INSTANT POST!

Happy bithday, “Young Ladrinka”!

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{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

Jenny, Bloggess June 28, 2010 at 12:22 am

I hope his Bithday was a good one.

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Sophie@Fabrications June 28, 2010 at 12:37 am

Hey, you’ve been Cakewrecked!

Happy Birthday, “Young Ladrinka”‘s Mama!

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Sophie@Fabrications June 28, 2010 at 12:37 am

p.s.
I’d have started yelling by then.

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Jen June 28, 2010 at 12:56 am

VICTOR is very lucky to have gotten his very own cakewreck for his bithday.

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Miss Welcome June 28, 2010 at 2:50 am

Oh this was so funny and enjoyable I’m going to have to figure out how to follow your blog (since you don’t have one of those follow buttons for the simple-minded).

I had my daughter in NYC and my other two here in France. I do miss NY so much.

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christy June 28, 2010 at 6:53 am

I’m still stuck on the fact that you have a baskin robbins by you. The damn Dunkin Donuts have taken over – and CLOSED – all the BRs by us. When I was pregnant with Fiona I lived on their peanut butter and chocolate. Last year, when I got pregnant with Cal, I was horrified to discover they’d all closed down the ice cream portion of their businesses and simply sold donuts and coffee now. So sad. But on the upside, I didn’t gain nearly as much weight this time around.

Happy belated Bithday to young ladrinka!!

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Halala Mama
Twitter:
June 28, 2010 at 7:20 am

And while the cake is a worthy post, I simply cannot get past the idea of asking for 99 virgins at the counter. You absolutely should do that on a random Thursday, with or without the management present.

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Coco
Twitter:
June 28, 2010 at 8:33 am

That was an awful experience. That inscription is sad. They couldn’t even center it…. Hopefully it tasted good. Happy Birthday Ladrinka.

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Sophie, Inzaburbs June 28, 2010 at 9:05 am

Priceless! My question is, how good at spelling are young “Victor” and his bithday friends? Did they even notice or are you just a little uptight? 😉

Oh, and let me clear up the issue of the quotation marks around his name. They were obviously placed there because: goodness woman, it must be a nickname, nobody these days calls their child Victor. Except you … and … um … others with great taste in names
(OK yes, that would be me).

Happy Birthday Victor!

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empress bee (of the high sea) June 28, 2010 at 9:26 am

happy bithday victor!!! love the cake! well, i love ANY cake. sometimes i dream about cake. oh, and remember it is the best wrinkle cream evah! just eat plenty of it…

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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hokgardner
Twitter:
June 28, 2010 at 9:44 am

Happy Bithday indeed.

I once ordered a cake for my son at a super fancy store here and had to spell Campbell for the bakery guy four times. When he still didn’t get it right, I said, “Campbell, like the soup.”

“Oh! I’ve got it,” he said.

When I picked up the cake it said

Happy Birthday Cambell

One of my friends commented that obviously the baker had grown up eating generic soup.

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kiki June 28, 2010 at 9:49 am

happy 9th birthday to Ladrinka! even though there is a misspelling, i’m sure the cake was made with extra love. what did Ladrinka think of the cake? i love carvel and baskin robbin cakes. it’s that special cookie crunch mixed with fudge ribbon. take care.

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Zee June 28, 2010 at 10:41 am

That cake just screams “festive”.

Happy “birthday”, Victor!

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Halala Mama
Twitter:
June 28, 2010 at 10:49 am

And after further reflection, I will now be putting quotes around my last name at school… because Mrs. Abdoulaye isn’t weird enough – I think that quotes will really give it that extra pow.

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Kirsten June 28, 2010 at 11:02 am

Happy Birthday to Victor!

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Jane June 28, 2010 at 11:15 am

http://www.cakewrecks.com/

Here’s the site one of my favorites…… next to yours of course…… and the Bloggress.

Happy Happy Ladrinka!

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Anne June 28, 2010 at 11:21 am

His birthday is cursed by Cake Wreks! Hopefully it was awesome anyway. Who needs proper spelling when there is ice cream cake to eat?

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Joie June 28, 2010 at 11:42 am

This ACTUALLY happens to people?? I honestly almost peed my pants laughing at that! (Sorry, too much water)

Well, I hope the “Victor!” had a great “Bithday”!!

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Cheryl
Twitter:
June 28, 2010 at 12:18 pm

You need to go to a more civilized place…like Jersey City or something. I’m sure the good folks over there would get it right. Or not.

Maybe just take the PATH to Hoboken. It’s quicker and y’know they’re gonna do it they’re way so you can reduce your expectations by half.

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Pauline
Twitter:
June 28, 2010 at 1:35 pm

Baskin Robbins coupons can save you money the next time you go out for ice cream at a Baskin Robbins location near you. Savings include dollars off discounts and buy one, get one free deals. Coupons can be found online through such coupon websites as Retail Me Not and Coupon Mountain, or through local mailers such as the Money Mailer. Sign up for the Baskin Robbins Birthday Club and start receiving all the latest special offers, as well as discount coupons directly in you e-mail’s inbox.

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magpie June 28, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Maybe the cake writer had a lisp.

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Carrie June 28, 2010 at 2:18 pm

Now you have your own personal cakewreck. Exciting.

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Issa
Twitter:
June 28, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Happy (belated) birthday to Young Ladrinka. Nine. Sigh. He’s all old now. 😉

Morgan will be nine in December. Am not ready.

Dude, you coulda just made a cake. Snort. That reminds me, i need to put in my order for Bailey’s 6th birthday cake soon. i mean…think about making it. *cough* Cold Stone *cough*

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Issa
Twitter:
June 28, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Oh and you should send that photo to Cake Wrecks.

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anna see June 28, 2010 at 10:14 pm

Sounds like the bithday was great.

I actually made an ice cream cake recently and it was GREAT! And by made, I mean spooned a lot of ice cream and crushed up oreos in a pan, froze it, and saved about 30 bucks.

From Ladrinka’s age and my daughther’s age, I am guessing we were hugely pregnant at the same time.

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Loukia June 29, 2010 at 9:51 am

That’s not a real comment from Pauline, is it? Doesn’t sound like it!

Anyway. OMG. This post had me laughing… oh my God, this is an awesomely funny blog post. Your poor son and his now legendary birthday cakes! TOO FUNNY.

SIGH, though. I’d be SO FRUSTRATED! MY GOD!

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Janet June 29, 2010 at 11:59 am

Oh you have got to be kidding me..LOLOLOL Damn, I can’t believe I stayed away from blogger for so long!

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Aunt Becky
Twitter:
June 29, 2010 at 12:35 pm

Happy Birthday, “Victor!”

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Denise June 29, 2010 at 2:32 pm

How did “Victor” feel about the pink letters? Hopefully they just look pink in the picture!

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Amber
Twitter:
June 29, 2010 at 7:05 pm

OOOOH totally putting quotes around my name on my BlogHer cards 😛
Should I go so far as to air-quote my name when I introduce myself?

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Jonathan June 30, 2010 at 12:06 am

LMAO belated happy bithday to Victor! at least he was quoteless! that’s worth sacrificing an R, I think. Sounds like he had a great day!

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Kate Coveny Hood
Twitter:
June 30, 2010 at 11:49 pm

I can’t believe I missed this one… I would totally leave it as is. Aside from the whole blog fodder aspect – kids don’t paythat much attention to spelling when cake is involved. At the very least – strategic candle placement would do the trick.

Happy birthday Ladrinka!

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Steph July 7, 2010 at 11:53 am

Wholly cow at the stupidity!! LOL I hope he had a great birthday!!

PS/ I LOVE Baskin Robbins Pralines and Cream ice cream cake. They closed ours down years ago and I cried for weeks.

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