From the monthly archives:

June 2008


by Marinka on June 30, 2008

So Phase One of my Road to Driving, which consisted of printing out an application for a replacement social security card, went so smoothly that I decided to leap ahead and actually submit the application. I say “smoothly” because I have a naturally sunny disposition and never complain or whine and hardly mention the fact that I couldn’t print the fucking application because our sodomite of a printer is there apparently for ornamental purposes only, since it doesn’t actually print anything. And don’t get excited, it doesn’t actually sodomize anyone either, it’s just a euphemism for “cocksucking”. Because who has a blog about motherhood and the joys of parenting and then uses “cocksucking” in the post?

Anyway, I had to print the application at work which delayed me by a few days, but it definitely went smoothly from there. The first thing that I usually read on official forms is the “Paperwork Reduction Act of 1995”. which estimates how long it will take to read the instructions, gather the answer the questions for a replacement. Good news–8.5 to 9.5 minutes. I could squeeze that in.

There were some hurdles, of course. For example, one of the modes of identification that I had to bring to the Social Security office was a driver’s license which poses an obvious problem to someone who needs a social security card to apply for a learner’s permit.

But I overcame it all. I even stood on the security line at the Federal Plaza in Manhattan to get to the Social Security office. Something happens to me when I have to stand on a line. Maybe it’s because as a kid I stood on bread lines in the pre-Atkins Soviet Union, but I just refuse to get in line. There is a pizza place in NYC that has a line and I’ve never been. I know the line is supposed to signal its greatness, but it’s not worth it to me. And when I am forced, by circumstances beyond my control, to stand on a line, I start to panic. Like I’m afraid that I will have to stand on line for the rest of my life, and I will do anything, including renounce my citizenship, to get it over with.

And then, for some insane reason, when it was my turn to go through the metal detector, I decided to use charm on the security guard, forgetting completely that “charm” is not part of my repertoire, and that I did not have any contraband on me, so there was absolutely no need for it. Fortunately, that did not land me in Gitmo. Although maybe they’re waiting until I actually get my social security card?

The application process itself was a cakewalk and I will be getting the card in one to two weeks. I will be by the mailbox if you need me.



by Marinka on June 29, 2008

Today was the Gay Pride Parade in NYC. It is my favorite parade ever.



June 29, 2008

I took this picture when we visited the lake house in New Jersey yesterday. When I was a little girl behind the Iron Curtain, I was obsessed with water lilies. I would sit for what seemed like hours watching them open and close. It was my own personal “Magic Garden”. Thank goodness we immigrated to […]

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June 29, 2008

Mama calls me and hurls an accusation, “So, you’re sitting on a gold mine and you haven’t said one word to me,” she says. “I had to find out from the children.” The children. Our personal Greek chorus. It turns out that earlier this week, as Mama was getting the kids ready to go to […]

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June 28, 2008

People who come to NYC and then eat at “The Olive Garden” need to have their taste buds examined. And possibly get on the waiting list for a taste bud transplant.

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June 28, 2008

So last night my husband and I went to our favorite restaurant for dinner because my parents took our kids to the ballet. Hey, better them than me, I figure. I got a cosmopolitan because it is delicious and because it’s pink it makes me think that I’m not drinking hard liquor. While we were […]

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Tylenol Not Included

June 27, 2008

My son’s godfather, who is not that godly but is one of my favorite people that my husband introduced me to, gave my son this 500 piece jigsaw puzzle for his birthday. He also gave him other stuff that makes noise, requires batteries and will likely require skills that I do not have to assemble, […]

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What is the Point?

June 26, 2008

My son wants to bring a Pokemon toy to camp. I know this because he is holding it in his hand shortly after we leave the apartment, and he shows it to me while we are waiting for the elevator. The Pokemon is a blue, whale-type fish, Kyogre. I know from previous in-depth discussions that […]

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