From the monthly archives:

February 2010

The Pact

by Marinka on February 27, 2010

When I was a high school junior, my best friend and I made a suicide pact.  We were going to kill ourselves right after finals, in the spring.    Despite our planning, I knew that I’d never go through with it (I was terrified of blood for one, and of dying, for two), but I talked a good game.

“It’s cool that we don’t have to study for the Calc final,” I told my friend and she agreed. We really had everything figured out.  This whole “life” business, as seen in high school, was totally for losers.  We didn’t need any of it.

Neither one of us went through with it but the experience shaped my teenage years.  What bothers me is that I cannot remember the why of it.  Why did we make the pact? Why did we flirt with such a horrifying thought?

The thing that  sticks out for me is that we were reading Moby Dick in English class and that even armed with Cliff Notes, I could not bear one more paragraph.  I know that we were in the middle of the whole college application thing, that our futures were as uncertain.  Although they would certainly include a liberal arts college in the Northeast.

But we were filled with teenage angst and flirting with lower adulthood, as seen on the ABC Afterschool Specials.

Surviving high school is no small feat.

I worry about the desperation of the teen age years, the isolation that creeps in, even as you’re surrounded by friends, the perforating away from your family.

My kids are growing up, my daughter is on the cusp of teenagehood. And I’m terrified.

I will never make her read Moby Dick.


PSA: I’ve rewritten this sentence many times.  “My husband has been touched by suicide.”  But touched is not right.  Touched is gentle and forgiving, and this was neither.  It is not my story to tell, and it happened many years before I met him, but I see its imprint, its stomping on the man that I love decades after the tragedy.

If you are in a crisis, or are worried about someone who is, please visit this link.  Help is available, free help.



by Marinka on February 26, 2010

Today is a snow day in NYC.  Schools are closed.

My stepson is happy.  Young Ladrinka, who has been home sick all week and was counting on today to complete his recovery thinks that it is completely unfair and will probably prolong his illness to next Monday, as a makeup day and my lovely, beautiful daughter cried, because her class was spoosed to have a field trip and she was really looking forward to it.  Young Ladrinka assumed that she was so upset because the field trip was to a chocolate factory or the Nintendo store or something, but no, it was to a museum.

You can probably understand Young Ladrinka’s confusion. I think he may have suffered a relapse from the shock.


Last chance to vote for us! The Mouthy Housewives and Aunt Becky put in for a Room of our Own on how to create a super fabulous, entertaining advice site.

So please just click here, log on to BlogHer and then click “I would attend this session” (it’s just above the title: Dear Abby 2.0). After you click it, it will miraculously say “I would not attend this session.” This means that your vote for the session has been successfully registered. Thank you!


Coffee Chat

February 24, 2010

Mama came over on Wednesday morning to stay home with feverish Young Ladrinka. “This is ripping off,” she placed a cup of coffee from the local bagel shop on the table. “One dollar and fifty cents. Nonsense.” “How much do you think it should cost,” I ask her. “A quarter?” “In Queens, I buy delicious […]

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February 23, 2010

Husbandrinka and I have been discussing the kids’ Spring Break. And for some reason he’s acting like he’s never met me before.  Because this is what I like to do on vacation: rest and relax. But he he suggested that we drive with the children to North Carolina to visit his parents and stop along […]

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I’m in Imminent Danger!

February 22, 2010

This is Susan. Isn’t she lovely? Say “hi” to Susan, everyone. I’ve known Susan for over 20 years.  We were roommates, and BFFs and she is my daughter’s godmother. I love Susan. Susan is nice. Susan is trying to kill me.  I’ve already reported it to the authorities, but now I’m reporting it to you. […]

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February 20, 2010

I can’t believe it, but I finally bit the bullet and built a fan page for this blog on Facebook.  I was inspired by my friend Jill, aka Scary Mommy, and my friend Caitlin helped me set it up and answered an infinite number of questions. I’m not sure why she hasn’t gotten a restraining […]

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February 19, 2010

One of the things that I’ve been working on with my 8 year old Young Ladrinka is to get him to stop yelling across the apartment when he wants something and to come to me instead. So far it’s been a phenomenal failure, but I remain hopeful. MOM! He’ll yell. … I’ll respond. MOM! He’ll […]

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Fantastic News!

February 17, 2010

Fantastic news, everyone! I went to the doctor yesterday and found out that I gained twenty pounds. That means I’m really growing and developing! Why, I bet that I’m in the 95th percentile already! No failure to thrive for me! Before she weighed me, the doctor asked me to take off my boots. “What about […]

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