From the monthly archives:

June 2012

A Mix

by Marinka on June 30, 2012

I wrote a few masterpieces for Babble this week that I wanted to share with you. I’m a giver. And a taker.

Because of my own horrific experience in sleep away camp, I never let my kids go. Yes, I know that it doesn’t make sense. Is parenting supposed to be logical or something?

5 funny, funny blog posts that made me, what’s the word? Oh, right- laugh! this week.

Remember my spanking post? Well here are some of the most outrageous comments it received on Babble’s Facebook page.

and finally,

My response to those asshole (sorry! I meant mischievous, but I can’t find my delete key! Oops!) middle-schoolers who threw trash in the 9/11 Memorial because they were bored.



by Marinka on June 29, 2012

I’m furious because my sulk has been interrupted and now I have a confession to make.

I made a new friend recently. It happened like it does in the movies, when I least expected it, but also while my hair looked absolutely fantastic and I was basically ready for my closeup.

I wasn’t looking for friendship, I had written friendship off. I had plenty of friends, most of them on friendship probation, of course, but still, plenty of friends.

And then I met her. On the bleachers, watching baseball. Our sons are on the same tournament team, she made some comment, I laughed,  so I liked her.

But then yesterday, as she was calling her son, she dropped her voice and said “Luuuuke, I am your mother” all Darth-Vadery and shit and I just knew that I needed to have some kind of friendship commitment ceremony to lock her in.

“That is so funny,” I told her.

She told me that she was a huge Star Wars fan and wanted to name her son Luke Skywalker Schwartz, but that her husband wouldn’t let her.

“Why does he have to ruin everything?” I asked, suddenly enraged. I didn’t ask her to choose between me and him, though, because some people are touchy about stuff like that. At least until they get to know me better, at which time they welcome the chance to shed the ball and chain.

So we chatted some more and then she pointed to a spot in a park (we were playing on a new to us field, and by “we” I mean “our sons”) and said “I think there’s a bar there, and they probably have cocktails.”

I looked to where she was pointing and saw some promising signs. “What if they do have cocktails?” I asked.

“What, is the heat getting to you, Marinka?” she asked me, “If they have cocktails, we’re drinking them and getting looped.”

And so my sulk ended.

Because it’s really hard to sulk while you’re having a glass of Sauvignon Blanc with a new friend and watching your kid hit a home run.

Not impossible, but hard.



Two Hands

June 27, 2012

On the one hand, things are fine. My family is with me, my daughter is working at a summer job, Young Ladrinka is playing baseball and loving it, Husbandrinka and I are getting along As Well As Can Be Expected After a Century of Marital Blisss, Add An Extra S for I’m Going to Strangle […]

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Mama Makes A Friend

June 24, 2012

Mama called me the other day to report on some exciting news. “Good news,” she told me, “I got picked up at the park today.” “What does that mean?” I was in no mood for a Mr. Goodbar story. “I’m sitting on park bench and a man comes to sit next to me. He is […]

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June 23, 2012

Last week I wrote a post for Babble, If You Spank Your Kids, We Can’t Be Friends, and it got, shall we say, an interesting response. Turns out people don’t like it when I tell them what to do with their lives, or their children. Go figure. You’d think more people would flock to me […]

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June 20, 2012

This post contains Amazon affiliate links. You know how sometimes you’ll visit a pregnant blogger’s site and she has one of those countdown widgets in the sidebar, like how many months/weeks/days/hours until the baby arrives? I love that shit. Because it gives you something to look forward to and it must be very rewarding to […]

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Dinnertime Conversation

June 19, 2012

Excuse me, but please settle a dispute for me. When your parents come over for dinner, do you take them aside  and say “so nice to see you. Let us all eat together. If you could please steer clear of the following topics,that would be the cherry on the cake!”  Or do you assume that […]

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We Were Children Once

June 16, 2012

When I attended the Erma Bombeck Humor Writers’ Workshop in Dayton this spring, I re-dedicated myself to humor writing. I promised myself that I would write funny pieces, steer clear of all mommy wars controversies, and not engage in rage-filled political diatribes that are bound to surface in an election year. I wanted none of […]

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