Babies

by Marinka on March 25, 2010

Young Ladrinka came home after a brief but meaningful playdate on Sunday to announce that his friend’s mom is having a baby. And that the baby “will be out in August.”

There were many things wrong with this statement, of course, because the baby is not a movie, although when I accused him of being too focused on release dates, he defended himself on the grounds that he meant “coming out of her stomach.”

The other problem was that his friend’s mom, let’s call her Brutus, is my friend and it is very strange for me to find out about her pregnancy from my son. Strange and hurtful.

I mean, I could understand if she were a total stranger, someone who has never crossed paths with me before. But she’s known me for years and she understands that I must have attention on myself at all times and that any efforts to shift the focus onto someone else will not be tolerated. But apparently, this is not something that she was thinking about during conception. People are just incredible, you know?

So, she’s pregnant and apparently she was hoping to hide her pregnancy until we all went to the prom where she planned to deliver the baby in the bathroom and gasp “OMG!” like they do in Lifetime TV movies. But Truthtelling Ladrinka blabbed to mine, and the truth was out.

I wasted no time elating about the good news.

“I can’t believe that I had to learn about your pregnancy through Young Ladrinka. I would congratulate you but I am now giving you the silent treatment,” I emailed.

She replied with some self-effacing nonsense, but her actions are really between her and her spiritual adviser. She knows what she’s done and she has to live with it.

And apparently, I do too, now. Because we’re all connected, no man is an island and her actions have a direct effect on me.

Young Ladrinka wants a baby brother now. I said no. He asked me why, and I explained as patiently as I could that our family was complete and that I was premenopausal. And then I had to leave to go meet some people at a local establishment to discuss how we can make the world a better place. When I came back, Young Ladrinka had great news for me.
“Dad says that I can name our baby!” he told me.
Of course I confronted Husbandrinka.
“Well, I knew that we would not be having a baby, so I thought that it wouldn’t be any skin off my nose to let him name it,” he explained.

Perfect logic.

One year ago ...

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Coma Girl
Twitter:
March 25, 2010 at 12:13 pm

Don’t keep us in suspense. What’s the name?

Reply

Soccermom March 25, 2010 at 1:43 pm

I agree what is your “new” babys name? I bet he picked something real creative.

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Marinka March 25, 2010 at 1:45 pm

He chose “Joe without the ‘e’ .” So I guess it’s Jo, but I’m not sure how to pronounce that. Like JOH, maybe?

This is why we can’t have another baby.

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Noelle March 25, 2010 at 3:19 pm

You can’t name the imaginary baby Jo no e. That was the name of a tranny prostitute (“he got the e cut off”) that loitered outside Samantha’s apartment in the meat packing district!

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Noelle March 25, 2010 at 3:19 pm

You can’t name the imaginary baby Jo no e. That was the name of a tranny prostitute (“he got the e cut off”) that loitered outside Samantha’s SATC apartment in the meat packing district!

Reply

I'm Nate's Mom March 25, 2010 at 12:15 pm

My 13 y.o. daughter recently asked if we could adopt a baby. When I said “no,” she couldn’t understand why. I told her that I finally got her and her brother to where they’re fairly self-sufficient and I couldn’t bear to start over. Babies are so needy . . . all that nose-wiping and butt-wiping. The constant crying and sticky fingers.

Plus, eventually, they all become hormonal teenagers.

Reply

Coco
Twitter:
March 25, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Oh boy. I am curious too as to what he wants to name his little brother…..

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Sorry For The Convenience
Twitter:
March 25, 2010 at 1:56 pm

Strange and hurtful that you wouldn’t offer your beloved blog readers a chance to name the new baby that you’re not having. I was already trying to think of names that would go well with an -inka suffix.

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Sophie, Inzaburbs March 25, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Are you sure? I had just been thinking that your last few posts seemed a little … broody 😉
My son wants to adopt a few six year olds. Apparently six is the perfect age to have stopped being annoying and noisy like babies. I told him yay him! – it is a great idea to give an older child a home. I also told him: No.

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Monster Dude March 25, 2010 at 3:10 pm

Ecclesiast…… One should not count what is not there.

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Sophie March 25, 2010 at 3:52 pm

No worries! Tell him he’s getting a baby sister. That’d put him off any ideas about new baby siblings, E or no E.

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OHmommy
Twitter:
March 25, 2010 at 5:04 pm

Show Young Ladrinka how you plan to dress his new baby brother and him in matching clothes. All. The. Time.

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Vicki
Twitter:
March 25, 2010 at 8:55 pm

I wanted a little brother when I was 9. I got a dog.

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Sophie March 26, 2010 at 9:53 am

Count your blessings, child.

Reply

Mary @ Holy Mackerel
Twitter:
March 29, 2010 at 8:55 pm

Yes, husbands are just so logical, aren’t they?

Reply

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