Condom Conundrum

by Marinka on April 24, 2010

Last weekend, I went to the building’s laundry room to do celebrate my domesticity by doing laundry and promptly found an unwrapped condom in the dryer.

I had three simultaneous thoughts.

1) Everyone in my family must immediately start wearing disposable clothing so that we never have to deal with the laundry room again.

2) I wonder of it belongs to Harvey, the geriatric widowed women’s underwear launderer and possibly wearer.

3) It’s going to take many spirits to make me unsee this condom.

But because I’ve been trained in the art of reality television, I also thought of one of my favorite 16 & Pregnant impregnators, who said that his girlfriend got pregnant because although they used a condom, unfortunately it was a condom that he had left in his jeans pocket and ran through the wash. I didn’t even know that teenagers washed their jeans, but I guess if you want to get laid, you’ll do all sorts of crazy stuff. The thing about 16 & Pregnant is that you haven’t heard stupid until you’ve heard some of these teens and parents talk. So of course it’s a guilty pleasure. A lot like premarital sex.

I just wish that it didn’t involve condoms and laundry.

One year ago ...

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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

kiki
Twitter:
April 24, 2010 at 8:31 pm

barf! this story makes me glad my communal laundry days are over. i watched one season of 16 & pregnant and i couldn’t handle the girls, their parents or their stories. just too tragic. but i look forward to finding episodes on youtube in 10 years when i have to deal with my son and his horomones. “See, Junior? This is what will happen if you have sex. The end.”

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Jodi F April 24, 2010 at 9:27 pm

At least it was a sanitized condom, right? As for 16 and PG, it is awesome. Should be required watching for high school kids.

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Whitney
Twitter:
April 24, 2010 at 11:33 pm

I thought our laundry room was bad!

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MashugaMom
Twitter:
April 25, 2010 at 12:51 am

Ugh, poor you- it’s an image that will take a LONG time to forget. I wish you could just buy a machine and do laundry in your own place, easier said than done, right?!
In the meantime, wash your clothes in hot water and pray the heat killed the germs of anything that might have gotten in there by accident.

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Melissa
Twitter:
April 25, 2010 at 9:29 am

Last week, while I was doing my monthly laundering, I went downstairs to see some guy standing by washing machines that he seemed to be using as holding places for his car foot mats. He kindly took them out for me so I could wash my clothes, but when he did, the machines were littered with mat shake off. My immediate thought was that it was awesome because along with the baby poop already on my clothes, now dog shit was most likely joining the mix.

Sharing laundry facilities has been one of my favorite new customs since moving to the city.

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Karen at French Skinny April 25, 2010 at 9:48 am

It seems to me, someone was trying a little too hard to be creative if they were having sex in the dryer.

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suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
April 25, 2010 at 10:19 am

Ha! Karen at French Skinny cracked me up. Now, was the condom unwrapped and unused? Or was it unwrapped and…um…already put into service? Inquiring minds want to know.

And now I really want to watch 16 and Pregnant – but I’m still too cheap to pay for cable.

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magpie April 25, 2010 at 2:13 pm

Living in my little house in the suburbs with my very own washer/dryer is a great joy. Never again do I have to touch my neighbor’s underwear.

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dusty earth mother April 25, 2010 at 5:45 pm

uh… YUCK.

That’s all I can muster right now.

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frogmama April 25, 2010 at 7:39 pm

Ew, ew, ew. If I were you I’d tack it to a poster and call the guilty person out. They owe you a free load.

Of laundry.

Heehee.

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elenka April 25, 2010 at 8:21 pm

Maybe 2 teens took a tumble in the dryer.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
April 25, 2010 at 10:32 pm

Better or worse than the used condoms found outside your apartment building? B/c that seriously used to wig me out.

BTW – just curious why your wedding ring was in that salad bowl a few months ago.

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I'm Nate's Mom April 26, 2010 at 8:45 am

Ugghhh. Go pick out a washer and dryer; I’ll send you a check.

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Crys April 26, 2010 at 10:22 am

See? THIS is why I LOVE living in the country…in a house…with just my family and the critters from the wild. Of course if I DID find a condom wrapper…EW, can’t fininsh the thought!

My daughter (who is 13) insists I sit down and watch with her, that way I know she’s paying attention about what NOT to do as a teenager…that and she’s not having sex until I’m dead, so it’s all good!

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Crisanna April 26, 2010 at 3:04 pm

So, exactly how wrong would it be for me to tell Nate’s Mom that I found a condom in the dryer too…?

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I'm Nate's Mom April 27, 2010 at 12:58 pm

Hey!!

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Tiffany April 26, 2010 at 3:37 pm

i once found a used condom at the playground in the common area behind our house. my children haven’t played there since.

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JAS June 5, 2010 at 12:58 pm

I got one stuck to my shoe picking up my child from preschool a few years ago. From the parking lot. PRESCHOOL parking lot. I suspect it was that red-headed little flirt that always wore her diapers too low, but I have no hard evidence to prove it.

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