Cup

by Marinka on September 19, 2011

Did you get an email from my coach?

What email from your coach?

Mom, the email from my baseball coach telling you when my games are.

Mmm..aybe.

And did you notice a list of the things I needed?

I..think..

Well, I need a cup.

A cup?

Yes. Did you see that?

I did! I even sent out a tweet about it.

 

Screen shot 2011 09 17 at 10.56.39 PM 300x86 Cup

But you didn’t get me one.

No, Young Ladrinka, I did not. I thought that would be a fun thing for you to do with your dad.

Well, the coach said that we need to wear a cup to every game and that they’re going to check that we have one. Don’t ask me how.

I HAVE TO ASK YOU HOW.

I don’t want to know.

We’ll get you a cup.

Or a mug!

We’ll get you a cup.

 

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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

Tracy
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 12:18 am

I’m imagining the coach checking for cups by lining the entire team up, standing in front of each player one at a time, firmly grasping their shoulders, then kneeing them in the junk. I hope they’ve found a better way to do this since I was in high school. Not that I ever had this problem.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 12:34 am

i mean, seriously, how do they check for cups?

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Anna Nonamus
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 9:33 am

Knock Knock, little birdie ;)

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Lady Jennie September 19, 2011 at 2:59 am

Or a mug … Innocence is beautiful.

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Anthony from CharismaticKid
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 3:57 am

Oh gawd.

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Becky
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 7:48 am

Wait until you go out to eat after the game and he has to use the bathroom. He may just reach in his pants, pull out the cup, and ask you to hold it for him as he sprints to the bathroom, cup-free. I speak from experience here.

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Tinne from T and T September 19, 2011 at 7:58 am

Thank you Lord for giving me daughters.

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Julie
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 7:58 am

A MUG.

…That is all.

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christy September 19, 2011 at 8:12 am

HOW are they going to check?!

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ChiTown Girl September 19, 2011 at 8:24 am

OMG! My family was JUST talking about this over the weekend! How hilarious! Apparently, the coach would yell out “Cup check!” and all the guys would have to essentially knock on their crotch to prove they were wearing a cup! WTF?!

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Lady Goo Goo Gaga September 19, 2011 at 8:41 am

OMG – I have never thought of that – and I have two boys!!! Yikes – the cup check is a bit much….

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Wendi
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 8:47 am

Is he an A cup or a B cup?

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anymommy September 19, 2011 at 11:09 am

Aha. That was good. But aren’t you aiming awfully small for Ladrinka?

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Anna Lefler
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 9:02 am

I think you should boost his street cred by telling the other team moms that *your* boy needed a stein.

A.

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Anna Nonamus
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 9:32 am

Perhaps a nice cup of Pinot? They sell them by the glass at the pharmacy now.

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Stimey
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 10:18 am

Buying my kid a cup for hockey was maybe one of the more traumatic things in my life. When you go into the store and you stand there staring at the wall o’ cups…as a woman, how the hell am I supposed to know what to do?

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annie September 19, 2011 at 10:23 am

glad i only have to worry about sports bras!!

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Allyson September 19, 2011 at 10:24 am

Last week, my son told me he thinks he needs a new cup. I told him that if he needs a bra, I can help him. If he needs a cup, he needs to talk to his father.

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Jen O. September 19, 2011 at 10:30 am

If they check like they do in MMA, they’ll literally punch him in the dick. The probably won’t check like they do in MMA.

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charlie September 19, 2011 at 10:33 am

when I started playing soccer, one of my coaches requested that we all wear cups. so I got one and it sucked and it rubbed on my, uhhh, *sensitive* areas and I told my dad that it was uncomfortable. his response? “what’dya want? cotton balls?” at which point we realized what an incredible comment this was and we both exploded in a fit of Dude Laughter. because we’re dudes. and we laugh at stupid, sophomoric shit.

good luck with the whole “cup thing.” I’m against ‘em.

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sweetney September 19, 2011 at 12:29 pm

A cup of… balls?

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The Mommy Therapy
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 1:16 pm

I don’t want to have conversations like this with my boys.

Does anyone ever have to wear jock straps anymore? Does anyone know what a jock strap is?

I’m signing my boys up for piano lessons this afternoon.

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traci September 19, 2011 at 1:49 pm

CUPS!! My most favorite subject involving my kids sports!

The “CUPS” are checked my the kids themselves. You’ll notice this ritual when you sit on the bleachers and focus your zoom lens on the group of impossibly cute young boys in the dugout BANGING THEIR CROTCHES with their very own clenched fists and laughing hysterically.

THEN, when you’re home, your son will reach into his baseball pants and tug out the cup and leave it on the nearest solid structure and resume his game of MLB The Show ’11.

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Marinka September 20, 2011 at 11:31 am

that’s hysterical.

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dusty earth mother September 19, 2011 at 2:25 pm

I want a photograph of him with the mug.

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Peyton Price @suburbanhaiku
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 3:01 pm

I don’t say c-word
It’s “Gentleman’s Protector.”
He knocks to prove it.

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Julie McGuire
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 10:10 pm

When my 13 year old son was a little boy, he would take the cup out and throw it back in his baseball bag. I always wondered? Do I wash it? What the heck do I do with it?

FYI…regarding how they check? My son and his friends always used to swing a baseball bat toward “it.” If the kid moved, they weren’t wearing one. If they didn’t move, it was called “Power to the Cup.”

Julie

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Lu @ A Mix of it All
Twitter:
September 19, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Well, of course you have to ask!

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Alyssa Nowak September 20, 2011 at 9:43 am

The cup checks are a good idea, strange as they sounds. i was at one of my son’s games a couple of years ago and a boy who wasn’t wearing one got hit by a line drive. One of his testicles got pushed up into his abdomen and he had to have surgery to get it out. (I know; I’m friends with his mother.) As my husband–a former lacrosse player–said once, that cup is worth its weight in gold.

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Marinka September 20, 2011 at 11:31 am

I am getting a cup for myself immediately if not sooner. Maybe two.

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kimberly September 20, 2011 at 8:40 pm

At Catholic schools the priests do the checking.

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Meredith Joy September 29, 2011 at 10:56 am

I hear that getting hit in the “family jewels” = anguish.

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