Fight

by Marinka on October 1, 2011

I interrupt your weekend to bring you a snippet of a fight that I enjoyed with Husbandrinka last night.

OMFG, you ALWAYS do this. Always. I can’t stand it anymore. You’re driving me crazy. You are the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD. I can’t live like this. HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL.

Marinka, this is what those moronic magazines that you read would call “not fighting fair.” We’ll talk about this when you’ve calmed down.

Let me ask you, would you be able to live with someone who called your reading choices moronic?

And you’ll be happy to know that I’ve been able to forgive him and he promised to buy 2% milk like I’ve been asking for thirteen years and not that artery-clogging whole milk that he has been determined to kill me with.

One year ago ...

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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

pam October 1, 2011 at 12:19 pm

May your fights always be as serious as whole vs. 2%.

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pam October 1, 2011 at 12:20 pm

May your fights always be as serious as whole vs. 2%.

I needed a laugh this morning and this did the trick. THANKS!

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magpie October 1, 2011 at 12:36 pm

men. can’t live with ’em; can’t shoot ’em.

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Emily Strautt October 1, 2011 at 1:37 pm

You said, “You are the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD” to someone over whole milk? Fuck you.

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Marinka October 1, 2011 at 1:52 pm

It was also not organic.

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pam October 1, 2011 at 5:56 pm

And thank you, Marinka, for coming through with a laugh in the afternoon too.

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suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
October 1, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Oh, this killed me.

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Liz DiAlto
Twitter:
October 1, 2011 at 9:29 pm

I love this reply.

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Steph October 2, 2011 at 11:21 pm

HOW DO YOU DO THIS?? Specifically, I mean how do you reply so hilariously to an apparently hateful comment? Or is she a friend/frenemy? In any case, you crack me up.

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MamaBug October 1, 2011 at 1:57 pm

HAHAHAHA “It was also not organic.” OMFG. I am crying I am laughing so hard. Hahaha.

I am glad this was resolved without bloodshed…. in theory.

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Marta
Twitter:
October 1, 2011 at 1:57 pm

If I read this correctly the fight was over your reading choices the milk was the apologetic compromise. Perhaps Ms. Emily should learn to read better.

Also not even organic? Shame on him!

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Carla (@chickmae) October 1, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Don’t ever get between a couple who are fighting about milk.

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Keely October 1, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Emily, meet humor. Humor, Emily. I dont believe you’ve met?

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suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
October 1, 2011 at 6:31 pm

Also? Meet hyperbole, a useful humor device…

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Amy
Twitter:
October 1, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Thank you for the laugh over the fight and also the laugh over the comments.

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rebeccaNYC October 1, 2011 at 2:40 pm

This is how the fights in my house go too. Very heated arguments over touchy subjects like Dental Floss. Don’t get me started on the subject.

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awesome dude October 1, 2011 at 3:16 pm

If you marry a moron, her/his reading preferences will be moronic.

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Glamamom
Twitter:
October 1, 2011 at 5:32 pm

I hate sensitive men.

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suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
October 1, 2011 at 6:30 pm

The biggest fights are always over the stupidest things. We have an entire list of them. The problem is, we always know exactly what the other person is going to say, so it gets really boring.

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anymommy October 1, 2011 at 8:08 pm

I bet it wasn’t even “certified hormone Rh hormone free.” So funny.

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A Mommy in the City
Twitter:
October 1, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Are husbandrika and my husband related? Because this sounds exactly like something my husband would say!

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Alexandra
Twitter:
October 1, 2011 at 11:52 pm

Yeah, you’re not supposed to use the words “always” and “never” and name call and threaten to walk and all that.

Yeah, I know that.

BUT STILL: seriously? When they sell non fat?

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Stasha
Twitter:
October 2, 2011 at 1:37 am

I have a shelf in my fridge full of thick and creamy to prove all men are the same.

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Jeanne October 2, 2011 at 7:45 am

Good God! That man is trying to kill you!

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Kat October 2, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Awesome post! While I do enjoy the comedy, I’m wondering about some of the reverse sexism. At the risk of offending a few for the sake of awareness, try putting “women” in the following sentences. Not cool, is it? Okay, now back to laughing at the original post.

“men. can’t live with ‘em; can’t shoot ‘em.”

“I hate sensitive men.”

“all men are the same.”

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Peajaye
Twitter:
October 2, 2011 at 5:43 pm

2%?! My partner only allows non-fat milk (re: white suicide water) in the fridge. I’d kill for 2%.

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dusty earth mother October 2, 2011 at 6:25 pm

We had a similar argument over rice. If you recall, my husband is Asian.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
October 2, 2011 at 11:30 pm

Heterosexual marriage really should be illegal.

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Brattus Rattus October 3, 2011 at 10:30 am

I had a huge fight with a boyfriend years ago over peanut butter cookies. He needed a bunch of cookies for a work function so I made them for him. I used the fork to make the cross marks and dipped the fork in sugar so the cookie dough wouldn’t stick. He saw them and said, “If I wanted F’n sugar cookies I would have asked for them!”

Needless to say, we broke up and he walked away while being pelted with peanut butter “sugar” cookies.

Now I’m pissed again.

Reply

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