In the Kitchen

by Marinka on July 14, 2011

The post that you are about to read was generously sponsored by American Home Shield. Perhaps you can see why.
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The other day, I decided to bake a potato. For dinner. For the children. For nourishment.

The only stumbling block was that I didn’t actually know how to bake a potato. So because I like to involve my children in culinary projects, I asked 10 year old Young Ladrinka to Google a recipe and he came up with some wrap it in foil and stick it in the oven for an hour and a half nonsense, which seemed insane.

I mean, I wanted to bake a potato, not to build Rome. So I tweeted my pain”how long to bake a potato” and the worst was confirmed. Close to an hour. It’s as though science hasn’t made any advances at all in the last few decades. Besides, the children and I were hungry.

Then someone suggested that I microwave it. The potato, not science.

I agreed, especially because I have a microwave. And a potato. I put the potato inside the microwave and pressed the magic “Baked potato” button on the microwave. Magical things did indeed start to happen.

First, the microwave panel flashed “PUT ON MIDDLE RACK” suggestion at me. Unfortunately, my microwave is rackless, so I just put it on bottom of the microwave. I pressed Start. Then the microwave flashed “SENSING POTATO”. You and me both, microwave.

It was all very Star Trek (Or what I envision Star Trek to be, since I’m a woman and don’t live in my parents’ basement). Then the microwaving process started in earnest and 10 minutes later my kitchen was filled with smoke.

It was a toss-up as to what I should do. On the one hand, the display panel showed that the potato still had 15 minutes to go. On the other hand, I like breathing. So I took the potato out. It was practically liquid. The bad news is that my microwave could have benefited from home warranty insurance. The good news is that I’ve invented the Potato Smoothie.

One year ago ...

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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

Anthony from CharismaticKid
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 12:09 am

Mmmm… put a lil butter in that, some salt… now you gotcherself a TATER SMOOTHIE!

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Suzy
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 12:22 am

Did you forget to punch holes in it with a fork? That lets out the tons of WATER that’s in a potato.

~Julia Child
Dead Chef

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Marinka July 14, 2011 at 9:44 am

I think I did. I usually walk around with a fork and stab everything in sight.

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Sophie@Fabrications July 14, 2011 at 1:30 am

mmm… potato (this is me, 8:30am)

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Peajaye
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 1:52 am

Hey, since you fired your Beautiful Daughter from you book project, that frees you up to do a cookbook with Young Ladnrinka.

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eevie July 14, 2011 at 9:38 am

this is the best idea ever.

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Tracy
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 3:41 am

It’s sad that the whole cook-it-in-the-oven for an hour thing actually makes the best potatoes, because when I’m hungry, I want to eat now. I don’t want to wait an entire damn hour. The way I see it, if it was good enough for my mom, it’s good enough for me. Just, yeah, stab the potato.

The thing about wrapping the potato in foil is, allegedly, not the best way to bake it. I think it’s something to do with moisture. If I were to ask my husband – who does all the cooking around here because otherwise we’d have to live off microwaved potatoes – he’d probably just roll his eyes and accuse me of never paying attention to him. He rolls his eyes when we see pre-foil-wrapped potatoes in the store. This man will lead crusades some day.

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Katy
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 7:21 am

Oh, Marinka. You really are the best.

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From Belgium July 14, 2011 at 7:23 am

Damn you woman, now I want a baked potato with butter!

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Becky
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 8:09 am

Potato smoothie…..the carb lovers dream!

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Olga
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 9:16 am

I like breathing too! We now have something in common!

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Sarah T. July 14, 2011 at 9:41 am

Potatoes are awesome no matter what form they come in – baked or liquified! I’m eating hashbrowns (or crackbrowns as I like to call them) right now!

For the future, all you have to do is poke holes in the potato, wrap it in saran wrap ( to keep the moisture in ) and microwave for 5 min. per potato (so if you do 2 at once it’s 10 min). Perfect every time! 🙂

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magikladee July 14, 2011 at 11:00 am

I have similar issues when (a) hard boiling eggs and (b) steaming (insert name of vegetable).

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Vanessa July 14, 2011 at 11:10 am

Would love to try it.. baked potato with butter… perfect!

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awesome dude July 14, 2011 at 11:12 am

I see you in black leather jacket with revolver starting big Potato Revolution.

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dusty earth mother July 14, 2011 at 11:14 am

I would drink a potato with you anytime.

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marathonmom July 14, 2011 at 12:19 pm

You can wrap it in a plastic grocery bag and cook for 12 minutes after poking with your fork. The melting plastic will cancel out all the nourishment of the potato, so, you will still die an early death from the food evils of mankind anyway.

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Wendi
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 12:59 pm

I thought Russians only used potatoes to make vodka. Confused.

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Anna Nonamus
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Good point. Marinka, you were using them the wrong way.

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Anna Nonamus
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Not so good for the kitchen. Smells horrific, I imagine. At least, burnt popcorn does. That’s all I cook. Kids do the rest. Or spouse- I love that my spouse cooks for me, so I can be lazy. Yes, life is good.

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tracy
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Wait, you didn’t have potatoes in the Old Country?

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Christene July 14, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Potatoes take FOREVER!! My husband and I cut them up into tiny pieces, and then attempt to bake the tiny pieces, and those even take forever. I do love potatoes though, so kudos on the potato smoothie!

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Suniverse
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 2:27 pm

This is why I make the husband bake the potatoes on the grill. Inside cooking = me. Outside cooking = him.

PS Microwaves are evil. I burned a bag of popcorn in one years ago and I swear, the kitchen still stinks.

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Meredith L.
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Just out of curiosity, you *did* take the potato out of the foil before putting it in the microwave, yes?

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kimberly July 14, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Poke holes in it with a fork then cook in microwave for 6 minutes, then wrap in foil and cook in the oven at 350 until done (usually about 10 more minutes or until you can squeeze it and it feels softened). Butter, sour cream, and yum – you have a baked potato that tastes like you baked it for an hour and a half.

Ps: we usually do the foil part on the gas grill.

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magpie July 14, 2011 at 3:24 pm

potato soup!

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Thea July 14, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Hey, at least it didn’t explode. As you were taking it out. Though that would have been an even better story. You should really think big when you do these things.
(De-lurking after reading the entirety of your blog in a couple weeks. And now I sound like a crazed stalker. I’m not, I swear)

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Amanda July 14, 2011 at 6:25 pm

If you insert a (clean/unused) nail into each end of the potato (I poke a couple holes too), it cuts the baking time in half. Still not as quick as the microwave, but you get the baked instead of microwaved flavor.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
July 14, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Bottle that stuff and market it. You are a genius.

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anna ~ random handprints July 14, 2011 at 11:23 pm

i think your post cut off the potato smoothie recipe, sounds delicious!

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joeinvegas July 15, 2011 at 11:16 am

Yes – potato smoothie – french fries you can drink – wow

Reply

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