Life Insurance

by Marinka on August 10, 2010

If you’ve been getting along really well with your partner lately, I’m here to help.

Because Husbandrinka and I had a discussion about life insurance that had me up late into the night, searching the policy for the “if you kill him, you can’t get the cash” clause.

It started innocently enough. I was studying my favorite portions of the Bible  in preparation for The Real Housewives of New Jersey, when Husbandrinka asked me if he should discontinue one of his life insurance policies.  See, it’s an expensive policy, a payment is coming up and he’s sort of over-insured already.

Now, I’m all for saving money, and the people who saw me at BlogHer can attest that I attempted to drink a life time of champagne at many a reception in order to “stock up”, but canceling even one of Husbandrinka’s life insurance policies made me nervous. Partly because I’m superstitious and partly because if I am ever to remarry, I’m going to need something to lure the next Mr. Lucky and I sort of suspect that millions of dollars will do it faster than “I have a blog!”

But Husbandrinka is a weirdo.  And he seems to think that his life insurance is so that the kids and I can go on living the way we do if Something Unfortunate Happens to Him and not to  make it easier for me to trap another guy into what he referred to as marital bliss, air quotes included.  I may have made a comment or a dozen about him controlling me from beyond the grave, at which point he said, “I’ll keep the life insurance policy, but it’s going to mean a freeze on all unnecessary spending,” at which point I had to reconsider and realize that if I ever remarried, it would be for love only.

One year ago ...

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

empress bee (of the high sea) August 10, 2010 at 9:23 am

for me i think it would depend on what he considers *unnecessary spending* (air quotes included). does he mean no more diamond necklaces? or shoes? or coffee creamer? how deep does this go?

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxooxoxxo

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soccermom August 10, 2010 at 9:28 am

I think I would freak out also.
But…………………
if he is already over insured then it shouldnt be a big deal right?

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Miss Britt
Twitter:
August 10, 2010 at 9:42 am

My policy does not, actually, have the “if you kill her you don’t get the cash” clause.

My husband told me so.

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Elise August 10, 2010 at 10:11 am

I like the marriage credo Jackie Onassis lived by:

First time for love, second time for money and third time for friendship.

I’m on to round two, wish me luck!

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carmen
Twitter:
August 10, 2010 at 1:32 pm

We’ve had this same “you are overinsured, what should we cancel” discussion lately, but I keep coming back to this – I’m never ever marrying again. I will live in sin with someone, or have a ton of boy toys – but I’m not repeating this marriage bit over. So I’m gonna need some funding.

That said, we did cancel a disability policy. I told him if he was hurt enough that he needed disability, he could pretty much count on me finishing the job.

Wish I had met you at Blogher. Was way too intimidated.

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Tonya
Twitter:
August 10, 2010 at 2:11 pm

We’ve had the discussion that I need more life insurance. But see I’ve done the math and if we get me more life insurance than really there is no incentive in my spouse keeping me around. I’m going to hire a food taster and someone to watch over me while I sleep.

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Marinka August 10, 2010 at 2:19 pm

Those are both excellent ideas. Too bad Husbandrinka didn’t think of them.

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Gretchen August 10, 2010 at 4:45 pm

I married for love the first two times, and I’ve fully decided that if Jimmy were to…make his exit…I would definitely turn golddigger. Which means I may need to use Jimmy’s life insurance for plastic surgery. Cause I’m not getting any younger.

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Kristen
Twitter:
August 10, 2010 at 4:52 pm

You ALSO read the Bible in preparation for Real House Wives of NJ? Small world.

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elenka August 10, 2010 at 5:53 pm

If he’s overinsured, yet still keeping the policy, my name is spelled E L E N K A.
He can put me on there as well and he won’t have to lose sleep thinking he’s overinsured. I aim to please.

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Heather, Queen of Shake Shake August 10, 2010 at 6:26 pm

My husband is worth more dead than alive. However, I’ve yet to see a life insurance policy help make the kids’ lunches, so I’ll keep him around. For now.

Reply

suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
August 10, 2010 at 7:20 pm

I’m not getting the Bible joke. Someone explain, please!

We just discussed the life insurance. We figured out that the minute we have to stop paying for life insurance, we’ll have to stick all that money into a long-term care policy instead. Oh, well….

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A Mom on Spin August 10, 2010 at 8:14 pm

Are you sure you can’t kill him?

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Carolyn Online
Twitter:
August 10, 2010 at 8:49 pm

It’s always the overinsured that live the longest.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
August 11, 2010 at 12:10 am

I agree with Carolyn. Keep the life insurance. Keep the man.

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GrandeMocha
Twitter:
August 11, 2010 at 8:44 am

I’m worth more alive than I am dead. I remind my husband when I need to. No food taster and sleep watcher needed. See how I save him $.

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Shafeena
Twitter:
August 12, 2010 at 7:21 pm

I would rather just squeeze my husband now and hoard all the money, than wait for him to die .. *husband leaning over my shoulder, and says ‘oh well at-least no insurance’ 😀

Reply

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