Open Plea to Dav Pilkey

by Marinka on July 14, 2008

Dav Pilkey, as those of you who have sons over the age of 6 undoubtedly know, is the author of the “Captain Underpants” series. Which is basically like “General Hospital” for prepubescent boys. Below is my letter to him. Hopefully, he will visit this blog and read it and take immediate action.

Dear Dav:

How fucking hard is it to write another Captain Underpants book? Or are you waiting until my son goes to college?

Really, childhood is fleeting. And he can be super whiny. Let him have it. Please?

I know that you’re a newlywed (or were in 2005), but come on. Yes, love, bliss, happiness. What about the rest of us?!?

The last page of the eighth book, Captain Underpants and the Preposterous Plight of the Purple Potty People clearly states that Captain Underpants and the Terrifying Return of Tippy Tinkletrousers is coming soon. And Frankenfart vs. The Bionic Barf Bunnies from Diarrhea Land is coming soon-ish. Barf! Diarrhea! You’re such a tease.

But soon? Soonish? That was in 2006, what the hell have you been doing for two years? Stephen King would have had several tomes out by now. You I’m afraid I’m going to need a better timetable. One that is acceptable to my son. Because I want him in his room reading and leaving me the hell alone.

So, what’s the hold up? Are you fighting with Scholastic again? Can I help? You say the word and I’m there. But please, write the freaking book already. Really, I’d do it myself, except for the whole writing and drawing part.

Thanks in advance!

Marinka

One year ago ...

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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

wfbdoglover July 14, 2008 at 7:09 pm

ha ha that’s funny.

I didn’t know the author, because I would tell my son that that wasn’t a real book and didn’t count, especially when he was reading it for like the 5th time.

Now I feel like a really bad mom.

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sofie July 14, 2008 at 7:22 pm

Um, whatever you said, only the OPPOSITE, because my kid’s only at guided reading level E and that means I have to freaking read Captain Underpants ALOUD to him, and you’ve got to believe me when I say that I am perfectly happy for Monsieur Auteur Underpants to have writer’s block until my kid hits level M, or whatever letter it takes to get him off my back with the potty people.

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anymommy July 14, 2008 at 7:53 pm

I know not this Captain Underpants, but I think I love him. Frankenfart is my new name for AnyDaddy and our offspring are, from this moment forward, the bionic barf bunnies. Fabulous.

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Jonathan July 15, 2008 at 12:14 am

I wonder who will play Frankenfart in the movie?

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Alice July 15, 2008 at 1:03 am

Bwahahahaaaa..

I love Captain Underpants, but we’ve been sidetracked in reading this summer. I did not realize that this travesty was awaiting me.

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Melissa July 15, 2008 at 3:55 am

Oh. My.

I managed to stay away from those for the most part. My guys are now old enough that CU just isn’t as fascinating. But that only means we are into more “sophisticated” body humor.

Shoot me.

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Marinka July 15, 2008 at 4:25 am

WFB–omg, I would love it if my son would re-read these books, but apparently, he understood it the first time and refuses!

Sofie–yes, I can see how reading Captain Underpants out loud would be annoying. Sorry! For you!

Anymommy–Just you wait. And if by the time your kids are ready there are new CU books, you’ll have me to thank. As a matter of fact, you should probably start thanking me right now. You know, in case it slips your mind later.

Jonathan–Gerry Butler?

Alice–I’m sorry that I had to ruin your summer with this news.

Melissa–Woohoo that I have more sophisticated body humor to look forward to!

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sdl July 15, 2008 at 5:35 am

Great art cannot be rushed, Marinka.

In our summer reading game at the library, we have several book-related activities that you get to play if you land on the right spot on the gameboard. One of them is tossing a pair of tighty-whiteys that are balled up through a toilet seat. An adult came along and wrote in marker on the back of it “bad stimulation”. Grown ups make me tired.

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nissa July 15, 2008 at 7:36 am

Marinka, you are HILARIOUS. I’ve been lurking but this post sent me right to the “comment” button. Monopoly: yes. Driving: yes. Noisy kids: yes, yes and yes. I can (yes, that’s what I meant to say) wait until my kiddo hits CU age. By then I’m sure there may be some other disgusting/annoying/ completely occupying diversion for kids but who knows.

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Marinka July 15, 2008 at 10:03 am

SDL–yes, grown ups tire me, too. But I love that game! And I bet the kids don’t object, either.

Nissa–You are very kind (keep it coming!)

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Jonathan July 15, 2008 at 12:45 pm

I can’t stop laughing!! – yes, Gerry Butler would be perfect.

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Madge July 15, 2008 at 3:08 pm

they have got to be past that whole honeymoon thing already. maybe they are to busy plotting how to kill each other now that they are three years into marriage.

i agree, my kids check for a new Captain Underpants book every time we go to the bookstore.

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Inzaburbs July 16, 2008 at 5:45 am

There are more books? My son was sent one for Christmas but I never thought to look for more (isn’t one enough???).

Major problem here – my son was born without an appropriate-time-and-place gene and keeps getting into trouble at school for “potty talk”. While I love that bedtime takes 30 seconds when he is curled up in bed with his CU book, (“goodnight Mommy, you can go now, I’m reading”), I can’t help but feel that I am aiding and abetting his storing up of vocabulary for future use.

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Inzaburbs July 16, 2008 at 5:46 am

There are more books? My son was sent one for Christmas but I never thought to look for more (isn’t one enough???).

Major problem here – my son was born without an appropriate-time-and-place gene and keeps getting into trouble at school for “potty talk”. While I love that bedtime takes 30 seconds when he is curled up in bed with his CU book, (“goodnight Mommy, you can go now, I’m reading”), I can’t help but feel that I am aiding and abetting his storing up of vocabulary for future use.

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anymommy July 16, 2008 at 7:11 am

Um, thank you?

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Always Home and Uncool July 16, 2008 at 8:28 am

We had a neighborhood party once and made people wear nametags with thier made-up Capt Underpants names (from the novel w/ the mad scientist early on). We haven’t been asked to host since.

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Dav Pilkey March 28, 2010 at 3:06 am

June 2010!

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Robert Emmerson August 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Hey, it’s August 2012 and it’s still not in Amazon or even mentioned on your website yet! Please, Dav? Soon-ish?

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Rachel April 18, 2010 at 9:43 am

My son was thrilled to see this update. I read him your blog post minus the swears, but of course, because he can read, he read them over my shoulder. Bad mommy.

But, now, he’s pestering me about the next *Ricky Ricotta* books — Naughty Night Crawlers from Neptune and Unpleasant Plot of the Penguins from Pluto. Also, “Coming Soon”!

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Fourmamoo May 18, 2013 at 9:38 am

DAV PILKEY! Please, finish Frankenfart before my seven-year-old has a stroke. He has actually written his own version so he can read it. Come ON!

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