House Rules and Proposed Amendments

by Marinka on July 15, 2008

At our household, we have some rules, because we are Excellent Parents. Enforcement is another issue, however, and over the years, our kids have made some modifications, or amendments.

Here they are. You will probably want to take notes. And then paste those notes over whatever it is that Dr. Spock advises.

Rule 1: Do not enter parents’ bedroom before 7 am. Because your parents are exhausted and need rest and sleep and relaxerization (yes, I know someone who thinks that’s a word. Hopefully, she’s not reading this blog).

Amendment: Run into parents’ room at 6:30 and announce, “See you in half an hour!!!”

Rule 2: Do not talk to mommy while she’s in the bathroom.

Amendment: Tap on the bathroom door and say, “Are you still in there?” until door opens.

Rule 3: Do not run in the house.

Amendment: Skipping, hopping and leaping is ok. So is speed walking. And running in slow motion, like you’re in the critical scene in “Chariots of Fire.”

Rule 4: No potty talk at the table.

Amendment: This violates the First Amendment.

Rule 5: Don’t say “stupid” unless you mean in it its literal sense.

Response: Oh, we mean it.

Rule 6: Take your plate to the dishwasher after meals.

Response: Thank you for preparing us for a lifetime in the food service industry.

Rule 7: If you’re a boy, do not wear black socks with shorts until you’re 70.

Response: That’s stupid.

Rule 8: If you’re a girl, don’t wear shirts with suggestive slogans.

Response: What’s suggestive?

Rule 9: Do not ask grandmother why her skin is wrinkly and loose.

Response: That’s SKIN?

Rule 10: Treat other people like you would like to be treated.

Response: Let’s go get you some Pokemon cards and a Wii game, mom.

Stumble It!

One year ago ...

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Feener July 15, 2008 at 6:32 pm

thank you -that was enjoyable !

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Madge July 15, 2008 at 7:26 pm

we have those amendments at our house too. what is with the bathroom thing anyways — and the 6:30 a.m.

when does that stop??????

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wfbdoglover July 15, 2008 at 8:04 pm

Cute!

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Melissa July 15, 2008 at 8:29 pm

I love that last one. I get that all the time. Although I really did want Guitar Hero III. 🙂

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MomMega July 15, 2008 at 10:31 pm

HA! That 6:30 am thing is HILARIOUS! Oh my, I can barely wait for the day…

Thanks for the visit, I hope your family liked the tofu!

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Alice July 16, 2008 at 2:35 am

I saw a dude at Wawa’s wearing black socks with Adidas sandals and wanted to plop a mirror down in front of him. Travesty.

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anymommy July 16, 2008 at 7:08 am

Excellent! Way to teach them flexibility and negotiation. I’ll be posting these on my bedroom and bathroom doors if my kids live to be old enough to read. Possibly without the negotiated exceptions.

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Always Home and Uncool July 16, 2008 at 8:24 am

All classics! Great post … especially that talking when in the bathroom. Can I get ONE minute of privacy!

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Attila The Mom July 16, 2008 at 9:43 am

Bahahahaha! That was fabulous. Put a huge smile on my face. 🙂

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nissa July 16, 2008 at 10:07 am

#9 : When my husband was small he made a comment to his grandmother (who had normal grandma-type wrinkles) regarding some story she told about her childhood. His comment was something along the lines of “Was that back when your face was nice and straight, Nanny?” Niiiiice. Also, did I just write “normal grandma-type wrinkles”? Just Botox me now!

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Insta-mom July 16, 2008 at 8:10 pm

I’m supposed to be in the office “working” right now. If I continue to read your blog, I think the laughter will be the tip off to my husband that I’m not exactly doing what I said I would.

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Kristine July 17, 2008 at 10:41 am

Awesome. I see what’s in store for me already.

Reply

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