Things My 13 Year Old Daughter Explained To Me On The Drive From My Sanity To The Catskills on Friday Afternoon

by Marinka on January 16, 2012

1. It’s okay to sing Alicia Keys’ New York for twelve minutes straight because “we have something called the First Amendment and the Freedom of Speech, mom, you should look it up.”

2. She wants to go to Montana to visit her friend over Spring Break “no matter what you say, mom, I’m doing it.”

3. It’s important to take risks. If someone doesn’t take risks, it means that they’re not really living and what’s the point of that. “I plan on living a full life with risks. RISKS, MOM. You should try it.”

4. “Can I borrow your Kindle? Forget it, it’s total crap. Why didn’t you get an iPad2? It’s so much better. I don’t even know why you got a Kindle. Waste of money.”

5. “After I graduate from college and before I start graduate school, I’m going to take flying lessons.”

6. “I am SO going to Montana. You can’t stop me.”

7. “New York, Neeeeeeew Yaaaaawkk!”

8. “OMG, how many times are you going to tell us about your Sedona trip, MOM? WE get it, you had a great time with your friends. It must be fun to travel to another state to see your friends. I wonder what that’s like?”

9. “Very funny, mom. I know you’re not 13, and you don’t even look like you’re 21, so nice try. But if the only reason I can’t travel by myself is that I’m too young , I reject that reason because it’s ageist. It’s like saying I can’t go because I’m one quarter Jewish. It doesn’t work.”

10. “Did you just TWEET what I said? GOD! How would you like if I tweeted what you said?”

11. “No you wouldn’t love it.”

12. “I’m gonna make it by any means!….New Yoooooorrkk!

13. “I’m going to be stuck in NYC forever if you don’t let me travel.”

14. “I’m not SAYING that people should feel sorry for me because I’m in NYC, I’m just saying that there are other places in the world, in case you didn’t know.”

15. “Maybe I should take flying lessons before I go to college. I don’t know, I haven’t decided yet.”

16. “When are we going to get there? I’m so BORED!”

17. “I want to go to boarding school. I feel trapped here.”

18. “Can we get another cat?”

19. “Concrete jungle where the dreams are maaaade of!!!”

20. “Most interesting people have broken a bone at some point. Have you ever broken one, mom? It’s too late now, because you’re too old, but you should have when you were a teen!”

There was more, of course. But it was hard to hear from the fetal position.

One year ago ...

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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

Phoenix Rising
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 2:42 pm

“RISKS, MOM. You should try it.” Bwahahahaha! Sounds like you took a huge risk riding to the Catskills with your 13-yr old…. 🙂

Reply

Olga
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I’d love to go to Montana!

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Jodi January 16, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Ouch.

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Meredith L.
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 3:53 pm

This makes me glad I’m only having boys. Boys are not like this, right? They love their mommies and always speak only in the most reverent, respectful tones? Right? RIGHT???

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KG January 16, 2012 at 4:13 pm

On the one hand, hilarious! On the other hand, terrifying glimpse into the future.

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Joycelyn January 16, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Tell her I am from montana and it isn’t that cool, NYC is muc better, not that she will listen. It makes me so much better to read this since I have a 13 year old boy who also thinks I am old and totally unreasonable. Although we rarely hear about this at a pleasant noise level
Jww

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Kathryn January 16, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Haahaaahaaah! Sounds like she has jumped into that teenage pool feet first, with great enthusiasm!

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Briar
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 5:27 pm

1. She plans to finish college! You win!
2. Yes to boarding school.

Reply

Susan Chalfin January 16, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Not fair getting your mother, father and daughter to write your material.

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suburbancorrespondent
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Personally, after 20 years of parenting, I think boarding school is an excellent idea for teens. I wish I could afford it.

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the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
January 16, 2012 at 11:42 pm

I’ve broken my nose and two fingers so maybe your daughter will listen to me. I’ve lived in Montana and NYC. NYC is so much cooler.

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Danielle January 17, 2012 at 12:11 am

I’m terrified of when my kids become teenagers. Especially because I was a terrible one. This post is hilarious.

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Steph January 17, 2012 at 12:25 am

Are you sure that wasn’t my daughter? I apologize if it offends you that I take a little comfort in the fact that other moms are experiencing what i am going through now.

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Alexandra January 17, 2012 at 1:10 am

Oh, love it.

This one: 20. “Most interesting people have broken a bone at some point. Have you ever broken one, mom? It’s too late now, because you’re too old, but you should have when you were a teen!”

As good as the one I got last week, “Mom, did you used to be pretty?”

Reply

kimberly January 17, 2012 at 2:21 am

It’s time to tell her to “get a job”.

Preferably in Montana.

Reply

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes January 17, 2012 at 7:44 am

This post = my future X 2.
The price of having two girls…

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Liz January 17, 2012 at 7:51 am

Stop! NY mom of three girls (15, 14, 11) is just laughing WAY too hard. You have my life pegged!

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Wendy January 17, 2012 at 8:46 am

HAHAHA I just posted on how my ten year old daughter told me last night she would never do any of the stupid teenage stuff. I had to ask if I could get that in writing! Oh the joys of teenage girls!

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Becky Rice
Twitter:
January 17, 2012 at 8:50 am

Did you give into Montana from the fetal position. She is relentless!

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Wendi
Twitter:
January 17, 2012 at 10:33 am

I hear Montana has very lovely military schools.

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Awesome Dude January 17, 2012 at 10:56 am

Military school is an answer, indeed

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Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac
Twitter:
January 17, 2012 at 1:49 pm

So you agreed to drive her to Montana, right? A mother-daughter road trip! Wheeee!

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amy
Twitter:
January 17, 2012 at 2:17 pm

This gives me something to look forward to in 3 years. I have 2 girls. I have no idea how my mom did it with 5 girls and a gay son. She was a saint.

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dusty earth mother January 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm

That was kind of excruciating. Hilarious, yes, but I’m trying not to follow you into the fetal position.

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sdl January 18, 2012 at 9:53 am

You didn’t need to include the 13 Year Old part in your title. It was perfectly clear from the content.

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annie January 18, 2012 at 7:52 pm

OMG!!!! You’re coming with her right?? YOU need to go to Montana because YOU have a friend there and you SO need to visit her or you’ll just die! I’ll make fudge.

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Lady Jennie January 19, 2012 at 4:01 pm

This was a painful funny glimpse into my future. I have 5 more years before my daughter hits it.

Reply

Suniverse
Twitter:
January 26, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Boarding school? Best decision ever.

Reply

Suniverse
Twitter:
January 26, 2012 at 12:59 pm

PS It’s an all-girls school, which is a huge bonus.

Reply

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