Where Do You Put the Banana Peel?

by Marinka on December 3, 2010

Cast of Characters:

Papa: Marinka’s father. Known as Awesome Dude in the comments.
Marinka: Saint.
Young Ladrinka: Marinka’s nine year old son.

Location: Marinka’s parents’ dacha, upstate New York. Thanksgiving weekend.

___________________________________

Papa:  Which one of you threw a banana peel in toilet downstairs?

Marinka:  Are you really asking me if I threw a banana peel into the toilet?

Papa:  Don’t be defensive. At this point, I only gather information.

Young Ladrinka:  I threw the banana peel into the toilet.

Papa:  Thank you for admitting it.  Do not do it again.  It can clog toilet and then we will be covered in fecal matter.

Marinka: WHY DID YOU THROW A BANANA PEEL INTO THE TOILET?!  YOU’RE NINE YEARS OLD!  ALTHOUGH I AM DELIGHTED THAT YOU MADE A HEALTHY SNACK CHOICE, DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT BANANA PEELS DO NOT GO INTO THE TOILET?

Young Ladrinka:  :shrug:

Marinka: YOU MUST ANSWER ME! WOE IS ME!  I FAILED AS A MOTHER IF I DIDN’T TEACH YOU THIS ONE LIFE SKILL.

Young Ladrinka:  I was eating a banana and there was no garbage can in the bathroom, so I didn’t know what to do with it.

Marinka:  So anytime that you don’t know what to do with something, you place it in the toilet?  Like “oh, a new DS game! But I can’t find my cartridge carrier. I know, I’ll put it in the toilet!”  or “A slice of pizza! I’ll have it later! Let me set it in the toilet for now!”?!

Young Ladrinka:  Are you mad at me?

Marinka:  I am puzzled by your choices.

Young Ladrinka:  You seem more mad than puzzled.

Marinka:  That’s because I am mad.  HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW NOT TO PUT A BANANA PEEL INTO THE TOILET?!?

One year ago ...

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December 3, 2010 at 12:13 pm

{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

Kati December 3, 2010 at 11:29 am

Sooo…is this the part where we do NOT ask “why was Ladrinka eating a banana IN the bathroom?”

Reply

By Word of Mouth
Twitter:
December 3, 2010 at 11:38 am

lol, Kati, my thoughts exactly … apparently as long as its a healthy snack choice – we are good 🙂

Reply

Marinka December 3, 2010 at 11:46 am

I think/pray that he was just taking a tour of the house while enjoying a HEALTHY SNACK, and then ended up in the bathroom.

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Annie @ PhD in Parenting
Twitter:
December 3, 2010 at 11:33 am

This is obviously Awesome Dude’s fault for not having a garbage in the bathroom. Who doesn’t have a garbage in the bathroom?

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alexandra
Twitter:
December 3, 2010 at 11:34 am

Laughing at this , because I become a yeller when I cannot believe they just did something.

“Really? Play do in the blender? You thought it would be OK to put play do in the blender??”

And papa? I can’t believe he’s real, he’s so funny. “At this point, I am only gathering information.”

He’s all methodical, and I’d be all the screamer.

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annie December 3, 2010 at 1:28 pm

Oh thank goodness you do it too. Interestingly enough (or maybe not interesting at all but still) – my recent outrage involved the words “Really??? Stirring your milkshake with a wooden spoon while the blender is on seemed like a good idea???”

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Marinka December 3, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Lynn MacDonald December 3, 2010 at 11:57 am

It is all part of the unwritten code: how to slowly drive your mother insane.

Reply

Kati December 3, 2010 at 11:59 am

My kids are confused – they keep forgetting the “slowly” part.

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Finn
Twitter:
December 3, 2010 at 12:14 pm

My son is the only one who can make me scream like a maniac. Their brains do NOT work properly.

Better he should throw it the window.

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Angela December 3, 2010 at 12:45 pm

I just want to say THANK YOU for posting this! Last night there was a huge “debate” at our house regarding a mother’s stress/reactions-to-events vs. certain other outsiders who think the mother-in-question tends to overreact over every little thing. I think your post proves my point that we mothers feel that if we are failing to intill in our children something as basic as not putting a banana peel in the toilet, we certainly question how we are doing regarding the many other things on our list to instill such as “don’t become an axe murderer.”

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annie December 3, 2010 at 1:32 pm

Um, I guess you should just be grateful he didn’t try to flush it???

It’s always amazing to me the thing my girls DON’T know that seem so straight forward and dare I say it, common sense-ish. I didn’t realize we had to teach them EVERY SINGLE THING not to do. How will we ever cover it all?

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MommyGeekology
Twitter:
December 3, 2010 at 1:56 pm

Why DIDN’T he try to flush it? I mean, that’s what you do when you put something in the toilet. Or maybe he did and it didn’t go down. I think we need answers.

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annie December 3, 2010 at 2:05 pm

That’s an excellent question. Hey Marinka, while you were yelling did you stop and asked if he flushed?

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Nina Badzin
Twitter:
December 3, 2010 at 1:45 pm

Ha! LOL over here at Panera in Minneapolis. You gotta love the power of the internet.

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Kimberly December 3, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Still… food in the bathroom. Eeew.

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Andrea
Twitter:
December 3, 2010 at 3:43 pm

I love Papa. I truly do. I think he needs to meet my dad. They’d make an interesting duo.

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Bejewell December 3, 2010 at 3:49 pm

“Woe is me”?!?!?!
NOT “Whoa is me”???!!!!
This takes on a completely different meaning.
I realize this isn’t the point, but —

Man.

My entire world’s just been shaken to its core.

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christy December 3, 2010 at 3:58 pm

So funny. I, too, would be pleased that my child was voluntarily eating a healthy snack!

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Melissa
Twitter:
December 3, 2010 at 4:00 pm

HAHA! Your Papa’s deadpan cracks me up.

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Amanda December 3, 2010 at 4:35 pm

I think I managed to cover no banana peels in the toilet, however I seem to have missed no m&m’s in your nose :-/

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Peajaye
Twitter:
December 3, 2010 at 4:39 pm

CSI – Upstate NY
Starring:
Meryl Streep as Marinka
Al Pacino as Papa
Special guest star:
Justin Bieber as Young Ladrinka

Reply

Peajaye
Twitter:
December 4, 2010 at 7:37 am

oh wait, I meant Scarlett Johansson as Marinka. Meryl Streep can play Mama in a future episode.

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Yuliya
Twitter:
December 3, 2010 at 7:02 pm

Since I am the only who ever stands up for Young Ladrinka…

He was obviously conducting a top secret scientific experiment, he could tell you why he put the banana peel in the toilet but then he would obviously have to kill you.

Obviously.

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Migg December 3, 2010 at 8:46 pm

Eff, I love this blog.
I just read your other blog about some chick hating fat people and that was awesome too.

I once threw a chip package in the toilet of my grandfathers luxury mobile home. I got in trouble–big time.

Reply

Awesome dude December 3, 2010 at 8:52 pm

I did flush it down myself.

How does the expression “Fecal matter of fact.” sound in English?

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Keyona
Twitter:
December 3, 2010 at 9:17 pm

I was curious as to why he didn’t flush the evidence.

This is hilarious!

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Diane December 4, 2010 at 8:34 am

So great to know kids do make healthy food choices. After buying and discarding (not flushing) raisins for years, I have come to find that all my kids actually like them. Unless they are in bagels. Great story!!!

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Cathy Herard December 4, 2010 at 8:44 am

Hello! WHO THE HELL DOESN’T HAVE A TRASH CAN IN THE BATHROOM? (that’s what I wish the little guy would have said had he had his wits about him.) 😉

Reply

Noelle December 6, 2010 at 1:46 pm

He might have had his wits about him if it wasn’t for all the yelling 😉

Reply

Maravonda December 4, 2010 at 9:02 am

I think that your anger is much better directed at the whole “highest priority” debacle…that’s what’s truly causing your pain, sweet Marinka….

Reply

the mama bird diaries
Twitter:
December 4, 2010 at 7:17 pm

I like that he put it in there. But then didn’t flush it.

Reply

Hollywood Farm December 4, 2010 at 7:29 pm

Same qUestion I asked my 4 year old only I screamed: “Why would you put a disgusting wad of chewing tobacco you picked up off the ground inn your mouth?? Oh why??” while shaking my hands towards the heavens while standing in front of Walmart. Why!??

Reply

deborah l quinn
Twitter:
December 4, 2010 at 7:41 pm

File this under “things we never thought we would have to say.” Of course, if he were my son, he would’ve neatly left the peel on the rug under the coffee table, you know, carefully out of the way so that no one steps on it.

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Mwa (Lost in Translation) December 7, 2010 at 2:49 pm

“Woe is me” is also a standard reply in this house!

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Brie Wendt December 10, 2010 at 7:45 pm

Long time reader, first time commenter. Seeing as your boy is around the right age to start, discovering, new things about himself… He might not have been eating the banana in the bathroom and could have been doing something else with the peel.
Just a thought to keep an eye out for, in case he decides the toilet is also a good place for tube socks.

I honestly do not want to offend with this idea, just wanted to suggest it in case you hadn’t thought of it.

Reply

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