From the monthly archives:

April 2010

Practically A Cougar

by Marinka on April 30, 2010

So yesterday afternoon I was walking home from a challenging Physique 57 workout, when this man started walking next to me.
“I love your sunglasses,” he told me, and I thanked him, because I am nothing if not polite. Well, one thing led to another and pretty soon he said to me, “I’d love to take you out and buy you a drink, is that doable?”
I was pretty startled and not just because I didn’t think that people outside of corporate used words like “doable”. But I’ve been married for approximately forever, so I don’t get asked out a lot. Although I like how that previous sentence implies that before I got married I got asked out all the time.
“No, I’m sorry,” I said, my tail in full wag mode.
“Cuz I’m black, right?” he asked.
“No, because I’m married.” It took all my strength not to add to a black man.
“No, you’re not,” he said.
“Yes, I am,” I told him. And showed him my wedding rings.
He squinted. (Note to Husbandrinka: bigger rocks next time)
“Congratulations,” he conceded.

I came home and mulled it over.
A man asked me out!
A younger man asked me out!
A younger black man asked me out!
I still have it.
Although in my case, the “it” is apparently sunglasses.


Birthday List

by Marinka on April 27, 2010

If you’re like most people in the Americas and abroad, you’ve been thinking that Young Ladrinka’s birthday is less than two months away and wondering what you can get him. And because Young Ladrinka doesn’t want you to spend any more time worrying, or spending your husband’s hard-earned money on psychics, he thoughtfully compiled a list for just such an occasion. For some reason “handwriting lessons” did not make the list.

And because I know that the list is hard to read, here it is, annotated:

Silly Bandz. Young Ladrinka and his friends are obsessed with these freaking choking hazards. You wear them like a bracelet, but when you take them off, they each have a distinct shape. For example, Young Ladrinka has an iPod, a giraffe and a mermaid. He has the mermaid because it’s rare, not because he likes mermaids. His friend gave them to him, so I’m a little worried that they’re now engaged or something. We spend the whole weekend walking to various stores to see if they sold Silly Bandz and everyone was out. Amazon still has them though, and they are not expensive. An excellent gift idea for Young Ladrinka fans on a budget.

4 $50 gift cards to Game Stop. I don’t know if you have a Game Stop in your neck of the woods, but in NYC it’s a store that sells Bibles. And also sends all their profits to help orphans in Haiti. Well. The only good thing about this item is that Young Ladrinka has figured out that 4X50=200. See, he wants to buy a new Nintendo DSi, and I told him no, so he did some math and put it on his birthday list, assuming that I’m too stupid to figure out what’s going on here. I’m not sure, but I think he’ll accept 5 $40 gift cards as well. I’ll have to check.

A few iTunes cards. Just a few, nothing crazy.

iTouch Just one, no need to go overboard.

CDs Here’s hoping blank ones are ok!

Money Small, unmarked bills are preferred. Please remember that you can gift him $12,000, tax free every year. Why not enjoy the tax savings while you can?

And Pokemon cards Might as well. It’s not like it’s going to hurt anyone.

So, there you have it!

Happy shopping!



April 26, 2010

Do you know how this whole “arranged marriage” thing is supposed to work? Because Husbandrinka has no clue. This weekend I told him some wonderful news–I found a perfect future husband for My Beautiful Daughter (MBD) and I wanted to know what the next step is. “What do you mean future husband?” he asked. “She’s […]

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Condom Conundrum

April 24, 2010

Last weekend, I went to the building’s laundry room to do celebrate my domesticity by doing laundry and promptly found an unwrapped condom in the dryer. I had three simultaneous thoughts. 1) Everyone in my family must immediately start wearing disposable clothing so that we never have to deal with the laundry room again. 2) […]

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April 23, 2010

I am working on a few posts right now, about topics like: * Husbandrinka and I can never watch 16 & Pregnant together again because while I’m all “Holy shit, how stupid can they be and what’s with their parents’ hairstyles?” he’s all, “Wow, their house is really big and nicely decorated.” * In an […]

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Papa Explains the Heist

April 21, 2010

Marinka: Papa, did you read my last blog post? Papa: About art heist? Yes. Marinka: Why do you think that no one has come forward to claim responsibility for it? Papa: Because they don’t want to. Marinka: But there’s a $5 million reward and immunity from prosecution. Why wouldn’t one of the thieves come forward? […]

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Just Hanging

April 19, 2010

On Sunday night I made the kids be all electronics-free and once they stopped calling their local senators and filing complaints with the Hague, we settled into a family game of Hangman. And by “family”, I mean me and the kids because Husbandrinka was uploading music to his iPod or something. A while back I […]

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Art Heist

April 18, 2010

A little while ago, I was reading about an art heist. In this economy, it just makes sense to explore all money making options. And this was a good one. The Gardner Museum in Boston, in March 1990. Unsolved for more than twenty year. Over half a billion dollars of paintings lifted. Impressive, right? Except […]

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