From the monthly archives:

October 2012

Safe and (Mostly) Sound

by Marinka on October 30, 2012

Greetings, y’all! It’s me, Marinka! And I’m just fixin’ to tell y’all that I made it through that there Hurricane Sandy in one piece! Whooooo-hoooooooo! Chevy Trucks! Longhorns! Where my boots at, gurl? I gots to go do some ropin’ down at the rodeo with Cletus! GOD BLESS TEXAS, MOFOS!

Okay, fine, some of you smarter ones have maybe figured out that this isn’t actually Marinka. It’s Wendi Aarons coming to you live from Austin, Texas where we didn’t have gale force winds, heavy rains and power outages like Marinka’s family and millions of others did yesterday due to Superstorm Sandy. (Which is just slightly less scary than a Superstorm SanDeE, am I right or am I right? Raise your hand if you’ve seen LA Story!)

Anyway, please rest assured that, despite Husbandrinka stealing her “hurricane snacks,” Marinka is doing fine. And thankfully, so are Kelcey and Karen and Stacy and Shari and so many of our other friends in New York who we’ve been checking in with via Twitter, email, Facebook and texting. Say what you will about social media, but it’s really helped put our minds at ease. Like when my husband asked me if Marinka was okay this morning, I just showed him the tweet she’d sent calling people who post fake hurricane photos “fucking assholes” and we knew all was status quo-ish because she was talking like a real lady.

Unfortunately, Madame M still doesn’t have any power, which is why she texted me her blog log-in and password this morning. Which I will not abuse. No, I will not! Not even when she puts me on Double Secret Friendship Probation for some bullshit trumped up charge like she does at least once a month. Or when she sends me a PayPal invoice for using her catchphrase. Or when she makes fun of my white noise machine. Or when I use the word “whilst” and she replies, “Easy with the big words there, Texas.” Or when she….you know what? FUCK IT. I’m totally going to abuse my access to her blog. Mama didn’t raise no morons. And what better way to do said abuse than with a hot little genius I like to call Mr. Barry Manilow?

So this is dedicated to Marinka, Kelcey, Karen, Stacy, Shari and all of our friends who made it through the rain. We’re beyond relieved that you did. — Wendi



by Marinka on October 27, 2012

What are you and the kids doing this weekend?

I’m going away. The kids are staying home with Husbandrinka.

Away? You? Without the children?


Oh my goodness. How can you be telling me this right before I go to bed?!

A. Because you asked. And B. It’s 7:30 now.

Where are you going?

Upstate with some friends.

Some friends? What friends?

Stacy, Karen and Kelcey.

I don’t know those names. The friends from school?

Mama, you know I’m 45 years old, right? I’ve been out of school for a while.

So now everyone you meet is friend. You are very friendly in your old age.

You’re older than I am.

Of course I’m older than you are. I am Mama. Have you gone crazy?

OMG, Mama. I’ll be back on Sunday. It’s not a big deal.

Will there be the men there too?

No. Just the women.

Oh, god.

“Oh, god” because there are no men there? Really? Would it be better if there were men?

I don’t even know. Both are not very good.

You make a strong point.

There will be hurricane.

On Monday.

Maybe before.

I don’t think so.

Ok, don’t eat too much.


Why do you want to go?

To have fun with my friends.

I don’t understand these “friends”.

Why are you italicizing friends.

I don’t know them. Were they at your wedding?

No. But only because I didn’t know them.

Today is your marriage anniversary.

I know that.

Why are you leaving your family the weekend of your anniversary?

Again, to have fun.

Why obsession with fun. There’s more to life than fun.

* * *

Have a nice weekend!

Here are some other things I wrote this week:

Tragedy in NYC about the horrific stabbings in Manhattan on Thursday.

3 Language Pet Peeves I Don’t Let My Kids Get Away With Because I’m THAT fun mom.

6 Things That Make Me Think They Can’t Be My Kids I like my steak well done. They like theirs twitching.


Sponsored Video: Halloween Stresses Me Out

October 25, 2012

I know there are adults who love Halloween, but I sort of hate it. I remember the first year we “celebrated” it after arriving in NYC from Russia. I remember I was Raggedy Ann, not because I had any special affection for Raggedy Ann nor did I know who the hell she was but because […]

Read the full article →


October 23, 2012

We have a laundry room in the basement of our apartment building and every time I go down there I wonder if I’m going to be dismembered. Well, that’s not true, but it certainly makes this post sound more dramatic and interesting. And I think we can all agree that dramatic and interesting is more […]

Read the full article →


October 22, 2012

Today is a guest post from my IRL BFF. And no, you can’t steal her from me. One of my daughters is a high school junior and has a friend who very recently came out to his parents as gay. Josh comes from a good family, and he’s a good kid: Well-mannered, well-dressed, nice looking, […]

Read the full article →

If You Tell One Person

October 20, 2012

My fellow Mouthy Housewives and I have been keeping a secret. In August we started a Twitter parody account, @PaulRyanGosling, which melds the horror of knuckle-dragger Paul Ryan and the dreaminess of DNA-winner Ryan Gosling. We wanted to tweet anonymously, so took an Omertà oath of silence. Just about being the ones behind @PaulRyanGosling, not […]

Read the full article →


October 18, 2012

A few months ago I decided that I wanted to have our kitchen/dining room area painted and things haven’t been the same since. Husbandrinka took the news hard. “What do you mean painted?” He asked, semi-clutching his chest and reaching for Bayer. “I mean have the walls painted,” I explained as gently as I could, […]

Read the full article →

Talking About Health Insurance

October 17, 2012

Last week, I had the opportunity to participate in a briefing presented by Wellpoint about “Supporting Your Family’s Health: The Evolving Role of Health Insurance”. Wellpoint is one of the largest healthcare benefit companies in the country, and has affiliated health plans in 14 states, including Empire Bluecross Blueshield in New York. I was compensated […]

Read the full article →