Greetings, y’all! It’s me, Marinka! And I’m just fixin’ to tell y’all that I made it through that there Hurricane Sandy in one piece! Whooooo-hoooooooo! Chevy Trucks! Longhorns! Where my boots at, gurl? I gots to go do some ropin’ down at the rodeo with Cletus! GOD BLESS TEXAS, MOFOS!
Okay, fine, some of you smarter ones have maybe figured out that this isn’t actually Marinka. It’s Wendi Aarons coming to you live from Austin, Texas where we didn’t have gale force winds, heavy rains and power outages like Marinka’s family and millions of others did yesterday due to Superstorm Sandy. (Which is just slightly less scary than a Superstorm SanDeE, am I right or am I right? Raise your hand if you’ve seen LA Story!)
Anyway, please rest assured that, despite Husbandrinka stealing her “hurricane snacks,” Marinka is doing fine. And thankfully, so are Kelcey and Karen and Stacy and Shari and so many of our other friends in New York who we’ve been checking in with via Twitter, email, Facebook and texting. Say what you will about social media, but it’s really helped put our minds at ease. Like when my husband asked me if Marinka was okay this morning, I just showed him the tweet she’d sent calling people who post fake hurricane photos “fucking assholes” and we knew all was status quo-ish because she was talking like a real lady.
Unfortunately, Madame M still doesn’t have any power, which is why she texted me her blog log-in and password this morning. Which I will not abuse. No, I will not! Not even when she puts me on Double Secret Friendship Probation for some bullshit trumped up charge like she does at least once a month. Or when she sends me a PayPal invoice for using her catchphrase. Or when she makes fun of my white noise machine. Or when I use the word “whilst” and she replies, “Easy with the big words there, Texas.” Or when she….you know what? FUCK IT. I’m totally going to abuse my access to her blog. Mama didn’t raise no morons. And what better way to do said abuse than with a hot little genius I like to call Mr. Barry Manilow?
So this is dedicated to Marinka, Kelcey, Karen, Stacy, Shari and all of our friends who made it through the rain. We’re beyond relieved that you did. — Wendi
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