From the monthly archives:

August 2010

The Feline Nickiller

by Marinka on August 31, 2010

Today is Nicki’s birthday. She’s two, which is like two and a half in cat years. I never understood that “dog years” nonsense.

And when I say “birthday” I’m estimating because the orphanage didn’t keep good records. When we adopted her they told us that she was about six months old. Come to think of it, they told us a lot of things, but they forgot to mention that she had fleas. I don’t know how old they were. Our kids did some calculations and came up with August 31st as her birthday.

Last night I got an email from my friend P.K. who said that she tried to leave a message on Nicki’s Facebook page only to find that it was gone. She was alarmed. So I asked my daughter what happened to it and she said that Facebook suspended Nicki for … I’m not sure exactly what, my daughter thinks “not updating her account often enough.” Which doesn’t sound right to me. So then I emailed P.K. back and asked what the hell was she going to post on Nicki’s wall and she never got back to me. I can only assume that she’s now following Nicki on Twitter and communicating with her that way. Get it? CommuniCATing. (I’m sorry. It’s been a long vacation).

Okay, back to Nicki.
We are now at the dacha (my parents’ house upstate) and last night as I was sleeping and dreaming of a better tomorrow, I heard Nicki running around in our room. I turned on the flashlight just in time to see a mouse run by and wave to me, with Nicki in hot pursuit.

Obviously this was one of those life or death situation, so I woke up Husbandrinka. Now, in case you ever wondered, Husbandrinka is the rare type of man who does not enjoy being woken up at night, even to be told that there’s a mouse in the room. He thought that we should just let Nicki take care of it because “she’s the cat.”

A little Third Reich, if you ask me.

“You know that once she kills it, she’s going to put it on our bed, right?” I asked him. Because if I’m not sleeping, neither is anyone else.

And Husbandrinka said, “Don’t tell me these things as I’m trying to sleep!”
My protector, ladies and gentlemen.

The bad news is that there was no mouse on our bed and I must assume that the mouse, like the hills, is still alive.

I called Mama with this tragic news in the morning.
“I think Nicki is special,” I tried to be politically correct.
“What special, you’re special,” mama said. Mama seemed to think that Nicki was playing with the mouse.
“Why would she play with the mouse?” I asked.
“Because it’s fun for cats. It’s like that thing before sex. Foresex.”
“Do you mean foreplay?” I asked, waves of nausea washing over me.
“Exactly. They play, then she kills.” (Incidentally, this is why you should never talk to your parents about sex.)
“That doesn’t sound right to me,” I said. Because in my mind, the cat is a ninja-like assassin who doesn’t have time for these cat and mouse games.



No Thanks To You

by Marinka on August 30, 2010

I made it to solid ground yesterday. The ferry ride from Block Island was smooth and uneventful, as was the four and a half drive upstate in the middle of the night, which gave me plenty of time to focus on this new thing that Young Ladrinka has been doing. And by new, I mean a few weeks, but I was so preoccupied by possibly drowning to death on the ferry that I hadn’t really focused on it. But now that I have, a watery grave is not without a certain appeal.

So, let’s say I hand Young Ladrinka a lovingly poured glass of apple juice, as per his request, and give an equally loving reminder of “don’t spill it!” as I sent the little rascal on his way. Instead of saying “okay, mumsy!” with an accompanying curtsy he now says, “What? Spill it? Okay!”

And he’s been doing that with absolutely everyone and everything.
Thus, a “good night, sleep tight!” turns into a “What’s that? Don’t sleep tight? Okay! I’ll stay awake!” You can see how a week of that can make a parent slightly on edge, yes?

But to be fair, I’ve been completely enthralled with spending time with the kids this vacation. Watching them on the beach has been one of the best experiences of my life, and I think that’s saying something, since I attended the Sparklecorn party at BlogHer. They love the ocean. They are fearless. They dive into the waves, they ride the waves, they can’t get enough of being thrown around in the water, going under, they don’t mind their mouths and noses being filled with seawater.

One day, I watched as Young Ladrinka started to wade into the ocean, carefully negotiating the supercold water against the appeal of the humongous waves. I watched his sister run up behind him, pushing him a little and startling him. From the safety of the shore, I saw that he was mad because she startled him, because she got three drops of cold water on him five seconds before he was ready for it, and I saw him start splashing her, kicking the water at her, even though she already dove in was was completely submerged. As they each dove in and out, I was ecstatic that they took the time out from their summer joy and happiness of being on vacation to still splash water on each other, because the fact that they were both already soaking wet FROM THE OCEAN in no way detracted from the insult of being splashed on by a sibling.

I adore them. Adore. Them. They are funny and beautiful and happy and I am lucky to be their mother.

My friend Ryan has a fantastic new project. I’m going to turn it over to him now, but I ask you to please support it. Because it’s for a good cause and the music is awesome and you sort of owe me. Don’t make me tell everyone for what.


Because no one listens to me

August 27, 2010

come Sunday evening (and probably several hurricanes) we’re getting back on the ferry and leaving Block Island. Don’t blame me if we all end up dead (tfu, tfu, tfu). Oh, what’s tfu, tfu, tfu? That’s the sound of my spitting three times over my left shoulder, which is what you’re supposed to do if you’re […]

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Updates from Mama and Papa

August 25, 2010

So we’re on our annual vacation on Block Island, and it’s a strictly no pets allowed type of situation, so before we left, I asked Mama and Papa if they would stop on by our apartment over the course of the week to feed and care for Nicki. As you know, Nicki is our beloved […]

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Wisdom From Young Ladrinka

August 24, 2010

As you may know, Young Ladrinka plans to work as a baseball player when he grows up, but in case things don’t go according to plan, he’s been exploring his options. So as we were driving to the ferry to go to Block Island on Sunday, he asked Husbandrinka about the possibility of printing money. […]

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Motherhood on the Block

August 23, 2010

We took the ferry to Block Island to start our summer vacation yesterday and already I have tons of blog fodder to share with you. But first things first.  See, I will be changing the name of my blog to reflect that I am now a Block Island resident and will never leave, and I […]

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August 21, 2010

Today I’m preparing for our two week vacation. This is not easy, as apparently I spent the week leading up to today preparing for a liver transplant by going out with friends to establishments that served drinks like The Anna Karenina Martini and discussing things like whether we’re too old for Brazilian waxes or whatever […]

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Baby Talk

August 18, 2010

Marinka: I was thinking it might be nice to have another baby. Husbandrinka: No. M: Because you hate me? H: Because I don’t want another baby. M: Is it a hard no or a soft no? H: No means no. M: Your mouth is saying no, but your eyes are saying yes. H: My eyes […]

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