From the monthly archives:

December 2010

Happy New Year!

by Marinka on December 31, 2010

I’m back in New York and my parents are coming over for dinner and New Year’s Eve festivities tonight, and thank God because I could really use some blog fodder.

So in preparation for the dinner, Papa and I had a conversation.

Remember this?

Well, yesterday Papa says to me, “what time should we arrive?” And I tell him, “whatever time suits you. We are home and free all day! Come as early as you wish, for breakfast, if you like.”
And he tells me that he has no interest in coming over for breakfast and would like me to set the time.
So I suggest 7, because they are going to stay until midnight and 5 hours seems like a good amount of time to spend together. And when I suggest 7 there is a silence and then Papa says, “okay, I can sit in the car until then and wait.”


Why does Papa do this?

Should we turn this into an impromptu I’m Right, You’re Wrong?

Cast of Disagreers: Marinka and Papa

Disagreement: When invited over by close family/friends and the hostess asks what time works best for you, should you tell her, if you have a very strong preference or say it is up to her, pretending that it doesn’t matter and then fume and seethe when she fails to read your mind ?

Position One: Just say what time works best for you, especially when asked.
Postion Two: How sharper than a serpent’s tooth is it to have an ungrateful child…

What do you think?

Let me know, Papa will be waiting in the car.

On a more serious note, thank you so much for reading this blog and commenting and tweeting with me and sending me emails and small-to-medium sized gifts. I’ve had a great blog year, and value every single one of you. Except you. Because you know what you did.

Here’s to a very happy and healthy 2011. xo, Marinka


Last night I celebrated my last evening in North Carolina by watching TLC’s Toddlers & Tiaras an alternate reality show about children who participate in beauty pageants.

Now I know that a lot of people are outraged, but I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Let me explain. See, I believe that children, no matter what age, are old enough to have a choice.

So if the one year old twins, Scarlett and Isabella decided that pageantry was for them, I totally commend their mom for taking a break from her plastic surgery to get them to their dream destination.

Sure, walking the pageant runway is a bit of a challenge for the girls, because, you know, they can’t walk yet, but how are they supposed to go for the gold if they let age-appropriate development stand in their way? This is the problem with America, people. (Fortunately, Scarlett and Isabella are from Arizona, so they can lead the way!)

And four year old Makenzie? If there is anything more adorable than a toothless waitress, I don’t know what it is! Oh, don’t be silly! She’s not really a waitress! (Although she did say that she really admires waitresses because they’re “cool” and “bring you food.”) But the pageant had a ’50s scene and every contestant had to do something ’50s. And instead of doing “back alley illegal abortion,” Makenzie decided to do the waitress in a soda shop. FUN! FUN! FUN!

And how precious is 8 year old Danielle? With her amazing attitude, what with saying that she feels sorry for the other girls because they’re not as pretty as she is, and threatening to trash the hotel room if she doesn’t win, she has a promising future in Lohanville! What an adorable diva!

I wonder who bought her after the pageant?

I mean, that is the reason that the winners paraded on stage holding wads of cash, right? Surely that’s just the down payment, right?

Still skeptical? Well, maybe this will melt your cynical made-of-stone heart. You know, some people are unable to own dogs. Whether it be because of life threatening allergies, beautiful furniture that they don’t want destroyed or like, Michael Vick, it’s a condition of their parole.

Well, what do you do if you’re one of those unfortunates, but you still want to participate in a dog show? Get a kid and put her in a pageant, of course!

Pageants. I don’t know how I lived so long without them.


Good News!

December 29, 2010

You know how whenever someone says “good news!” it’s always pretty much the opposite of good news, plus you have to deal with the fact that the person springing this shit on you apparently thinks you’re a moron who will be so distracted by the “good news” announcement that you won’t notice the pile they’re […]

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Snowed In

December 26, 2010

We are in North Carolina, at my inlaws’, snowed the fuck in. I love my inlaws and I love North Carolina, and I’m so filled with love in general that it’s hard not be excited and happy where ever I am! Which is great news because now instead of leaving in 23 hours and 12 […]

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Merry Christmas! From My Oven to Yours

December 22, 2010

Today my mama stayed with the kids and they made Christmas cookies. If there’s anything more wonderful than your flesh and blood baking, I don’t know what it is. And by “flesh and blood baking,” I mean them actually doing the baking, not them being baked. English is so confusing. Anyway, here’s what they made! […]

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Happy Birthday Rage

December 22, 2010

Know what I’m really bad at? Besides following that rule that forbids ending a sentence with a preposition, I mean. Remembering people’s birthdays. Not my children’s, of course, because apparently once someone has been ejected from my body, that date stays with me. But the people whom I did not birth? Problem. I have three […]

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I’m Right, You’re Wrong!

December 21, 2010

Hello! I’m’ck with I’m Right, You’re Wrong! (that means I’m Back with I’m Right, You’re Wrong!) This week’s dilemma: How do we feel about double contractions? Such as, instead of writing I would have, you’d write, I’d’ve? Disagreers: Marinka and friend and fellow-blogger Annie. Position One: Really? You need to contract that because you’re so […]

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Yogi Bear: The Review

December 20, 2010

This weekend I took Young Ladrinka and a friend of his to see Yogi Bear in five million D. I’m not sure exactly how it happened, because right before Thanksgiving my son saw the posters for it and said “that looks really stupid!” and I said, “why, yes, my young lad, indeed it does,” but […]

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