From the monthly archives:

September 2011

I’m Right, You’re Wrong: With New Contestants!

by Marinka on September 29, 2011

Welcome back to I’m Right, You’re Wrong, where you get to weigh in on a pressing dispute between me and a loved one (and sometimes a despised one.)

Today out of the goodness of my heart, I am turning it over to two people who I love and admire. And not just because they gave me life and have it in their power to make me an heiress, if only they’d skip a few meals here and there. Anyway.

Disagreers: Mama and Papa.

Disagreement: Mama and Papa have a friend in his early 60s. Let’s call him Geezer. Geezer is having a relationship with a woman in her early 20s. What do we think of this?

Position One: Love has no age.

Position Two: No normal young girl wants to deal with geriatrical teabags.

What do you think? Position One or Two? (And remember, I won’t reveal which position is Mama or Papa! Suspense!)


Happy Sale

by Marinka on September 28, 2011

Disclosure: This post contains sponsored content.

Monday Afternoon. My apartment.

Hey, Mama, guess where I went on Sunday?


How did you know?

Because you called me from there and said “I at Bloomingdale’s and feel like teenager.”

I didn’t say that.

You said something about teenager.

I said that I hadn’t been there since I was a teenager.

That was long ago.

Yes, thank you. But guess what I got there?


Mama, you are psychic!

Let me see what you got.

I got two skirts and a pair of pants.

Good, you need new clothes. I don’t understand what you wear, it is not flattering.

It was a huge sale.


Really. Everything was marked down and then I got the presale price, which meant an additional 30% off.

This I like. Let me see.

I don’t have it.

I don’t have it what?

I don’t have the clothes.

Why? You no buy?

No, I bought. But to get the presale price I have to come back on Friday to pick it up.

So you go on Friday and you buy then?

No, I already paid. I just go to pick up the clothes on Friday.

You give them money and they keep clothes?


You are a terrible shopper.

I got a receipt.

Oh, receipt. This is cause for celebration. Receipt. Paper receipt!

I’m sure the clothes will be there on Friday…

Yes. President of Bloomingdale’s will be waiting for you at front door. Welcome, Marinka, we are expecting you.


Now I’m super worried that when I go to Bloomingdale’s to reclaim my clothes, they will laugh at me and my receipt.

And to kill the time waiting for Friday get here, I’ve been watching this new video from Coca Cola about their newest installment of the Happiness Factory series. Since I was born behind the Iron Curtain, I remember my very first Coke. It was when I went to Tbilisi to visit Mama’s family. They had Coke in tiny glass bottles and I fell in love.

The video is called “The Great Happyfication” and it tells you the secrets of happiness. Take a look! And feel free to put on some eyelashes and dance along.


I’m going to a spa

September 27, 2011

Want to come with me? Well, you can’t. But through the magic of internet technology, you can help me choose the spa services that I will receive. Isn’t that great? You get the spa experience from the comforts of home. You’re welcome! First, for your consideration and my mortification, here are the services that my […]

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Reply Vs. Reply All

September 26, 2011

Today, I turn into an educator that I always knew I could be and share some wisdom with you. This summer we already mastered riding an escalator, so there’s obviously no stopping us now! (Until we get to the end of the escalator ride, that is!) Let’s begin! Situation One: Oh, look! You got an […]

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I Have Fantastic News. About My Ass

September 23, 2011

Last month I attended a Wacoal event in NYC and was fitted for a bra of my dreams and yours. I loved everything about this event– from the invitation that promised cocktails and small bites (we’ll see about that, I thought) to the fact that it was held on a top floor of a midtown […]

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September 21, 2011

Yesterday I noticed that my bank opened up a new branch near where I live. Since I’m 88 years old, this was wonderful news. I immediately decided to take out some fresh cash from the cash machine. I put in my card, pressed “shitload” when it asked me for what amount I wanted in $20 […]

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The Digestive System

September 20, 2011

Tonight at dinner, Young Ladrinka told us that they were studying the Digestive System in science. I’m a Democrat, and you won’t find me waging war on science any time soon, so I was naturally selected. I mean, naturally delighted. “That’s wonderful!” I said, like the parenting articles say you’re supposed to so that the […]

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September 19, 2011

Did you get an email from my coach? What email from your coach? Mom, the email from my baseball coach telling you when my games are. Mmm..aybe. And did you notice a list of the things I needed? I..think.. Well, I need a cup. A cup? Yes. Did you see that? I did! I even […]

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